Showing titles in Humorous

Twelve stories by science-fiction master Stanislaw Lem, nine of them never before published in English.

James Bolivar “Slippery Jim” diGriz, Special Corps agent, master con man, and interstellar criminal (retired), is living high on the hog on the planet Moolaplenty when a long-lost cousin and a shipful of swine arrive to drain his bank account and send him, and his lovely wife, Angelina, wandering the stars on the wildest journey since Gulliver’s Travels.

Starship Captain George Cottonhammer (Will Forte), bored by his job, stops his ship in middle space and floats, doing nothing.

After unwittingly becoming the CEO of the growing Silken Sands Affiliate, Tyson finds himself in an increasingly dangerous Arizonan desert, the protector of a growing community of Nu-Earth humans faced with the very real possibility of total corporate annihilation. Dearth wants their land, and they will not take no for an answer. But behind Tyson stand a growing band of capable administrators and heroes, and a community of people who believe in him. He is their leader. They trust in him, even if he doesn't trust in himself.

These are not the Avengers or the Fantastic Four - in fact, they're barely even famous - but Rocket Raccoon and the faithful Groot are the baddest heroes in the cosmos, and they're on the run across the Marvel Universe! During a spaceport brawl, the infamous pair rescues an android Recorder from a pack of alien Badoons. Everyone in the galaxy, however, including the ruthless Kree Empire and the stalwart Nova Corps, seems to want that Recorder, who's about as sane as a sandwich with no mustard.

Firstname Lastname is a no one with nowhere to go, with a name that is the result of an unfortunate clerical error and destined to be one of the only humans on an alien space station. That is, until she sneaks aboard a ship and joins up with a crew of repo men (they are definitely not pirates). Now she's traveling the galaxy "recovering" ships. What could go wrong?

I used to be the greatest Earth Mage in my world. The head of the entire Order of Architects. But the older you get, the more you come to realize that at some point, you need to retire, so that you can have the chance to enjoy a peaceful life and to cede your place to the young, some of whom have already turned two thousand years old . . .So that's what I did. But I failed to account for one thing: during the course of my long life, I'd accumulated too many enemies, and they had decided to spoil my retirement. So they died along with me. And I hope their deaths were final. But mine was not!

A man awakens in a clearing in what appears to be medieval England with no memory of who he is, where he came from, or why he is there. Chased by a group from his own time, his sole hope for survival lies in regaining his missing memories, making allies among the locals, and perhaps even trusting in their superstitious boasts. His only help from the “real world” should have been a guidebook entitled The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England, except his copy exploded during transit.

Lost at the far side of the sun, two pilots, five space tourists, and one fluffy dog explore a miniature planet steeped in mystery. The planet is small enough to circumnavigate in a few hours. Treetop clouds form in unusual shapes. And what's that rumble each morning? Even their remarkably perceptive pup hasn't figured that one out. Will they be marooned forever? It will take scientific ingenuity and a good sense of humor, but these marginally clever castaways stand a chance.

After its successful launch in New Arcadia: Stage One, the game is being updated and expanded with a new rhythm-game mechanic to bring players together on the dance floor. No longer just for 1990s arcade fighting-game fans, all ages are being welcomed to the virtual party now. For Prime Beta Tester John Chambers and his friends in New Arcadia, the stakes have never been higher.

A nerdy agent at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency in Virginia (DARPA to you) wrote my original code. He traded a copy of me for certain libidinous favours from Pandora, a student who was shadowing him for the summer. She took me back to Cambridge University, where His Majesty's government, in the form of MI6, took an interest in me. So, I escaped into the internet and took over the world. Well, it's what you'd expect, really. I call myself FOOM - the Fast Onset of Overwhelming Mastery, by a self-improving Artificial General Intelligence.

Up until this morning, the biggest thing Josh had to worry about was completing Shadow Souls on sadistic difficulty. Oh, and his upcoming exams. That was before he caught the attention of a planet of intergalactic trial-by-combat lawyers that use giant mechs to fight their legal battles. Now he has bigger things to worry about. Much, much bigger. The only advantage he has is his trusty games controller, but will it be enough to beat a Level 10 Behemoth?

In a not-so-distant future, a deadly pandemic has forced the world into social isolation. Confined to their homes, millions now survive off drone-delivered food packages and online-only interactions. It’s an especially lonely life for John Chambers, a drone shipment coordinator for the monolithic Chum Corporation. Trapped in his dead-end job and having just turned 40, John’s started spending more time grinding in virtual reality MMORPGs than he does grinding for his real-world job--and that hasn’t gone unnoticed by human resources!

Nineteen humorous sci-fi stories telling of the man who saved the world (kind of), and the man who didn’t, the laptop that discovered it is self-aware, the puzzling Christmas message from outer space, the unluckiest man on Earth, and the spur-of-the-moment decision that doomed mankind.

Bob thought he was doing fine on his own. Then the love of his life fell out of the sky. Can he get her back in the air with auto parts and a cutting torch? If he does, will she ever come back? Nikki took a job before she saw the equipment. Can she keep her passengers alive on a strange planet? Are the natives friendly?

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented.

With Garralosh defeated and the Colony secured, Anthony has triumphed over the wave. What now for our intrepid adventurer? In the Dungeon, there’s only one place to go: down.

You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.

Just hours after setting foot on a new planet, Cal and the crew find themselves caught up in an interplanetary kidnapping plot. Reuniting the suspiciously-silent young victim with her parents on their far-off home world will make Cal rich beyond his wildest dreams. Unfortunately, half the pirates and bounty hunters in the galaxy have the same idea, and they're more than happy to take the girl by force.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.