Heart-achingly beautiful story of loss and change

I've never cried so much listening to an audiobook - I'm still crying as I try to leave this review.

Whilst tackling heavy themes of grief and finding self-acceptance in a world that sees you as a monster, Gow manages to keep the story age-appropriate for her young audience. Not every childhood is idyllic. Losing a friend at such a young age is life-changing and Noah's perspective offers listeners the chance to be seen, to feel 'normal'. The contrast of Noah's understanding of his autism compared to his gender worked brilliantly to illustrate that we are constantly growing and changing. Noah doesn't have all the answers. Noah's thoughts and desires are often contradictory, and I love that. The message that you can explore, come to different conclusions, change your mind and still be you, is so validating. So needed.

I had doubts about experiencing this story in audio. To realistically capture a child's voice as an adult narrator is a skill. With the added layers of grief and gender non-conformity, a bad performance or even an okay one would ruin the power of Gow's narrative. Dani Martineck's delivery was haunting. The youthfulness of their tone, the pitch - perfection. My heart broke with every voice crack as Noah was caught unawares by his grief. I didn't hear an actor - I heard Noah. Tears flowed as I wished I could reach into my speaker to comfort this little boy who was going through so much.

Gow's story, Martineck's narration, resonated with me on a level I was not expecting. As someone who is no stranger to grief to be able to cry so freely whilst listening has been a release I didn't know I needed. Children's stories are often overlooked purely because they are for children. But to dismiss them means missing out on powerful and healing narratives that can only be achieved through the naivety, hope, and belief of a child's perspective.

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