Not as funny as it thinks it is

There’s some good advice in here, there really is, and the humorously rude delivery is mostly likeable. However, like so many of these type books, it assumes the reader is privileged and lazy and just needs a kick up the bum. It has nothing to offer people whose lives have spiralled out of control due to misfortune, disability, illness, poverty, mental ill health or single parenthood. And he continually uses ‘fat’ as an insult and makes jokes out of working-class culture, which as jokes go is pretty, erm, privileged and lazy.

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4 people found this helpful

Awesome wake up call!

all of the things you need to do in life told in a no nonsense manner. loved the examples and the narration!

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1 person found this helpful

Absolutely brilliant!

At last a self help book that talks complete common sense and not gobbdygook!
This made me laugh out loud, look long and hard at myself and laugh out loud again!
Then I gave myself a jolly good talking to and ‘Go a f***ing grip!
Thank you Matthew xx

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Very informative

I didn’t think I need any self help but listened to it anyway and found it very interesting and funny

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Enjoyable

I enjoyed this self help book immensely - It was funny and straight to thd point. Well read and I listened to it a couple of times - I'm a runner and I felt like I was taking a no nonsense friend along with me - I've been suffering with anxiety lately and this book put things into perspective for me - I was too busy laughing!

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Blunt and brilliant

Stop reading this review and start listening to this book. Get it done, not later on or tomorrow, now!

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Not for me.

I found it repetitive, not helpful or entertaining, however, it may be what some people will find useful to listen to.

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Very entertaining

Bit of common sense nothing special but funny I don’t mind to get sequel anytime soon

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Brilliant

some great advice and humour. well worth a read / listen. some great advice and humour. well worth a read / listen

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Great advice, but perhaps a bit naive

The book was pretty good and the narration by the author himself was impeccable. He should narrate more books, not just write them haha.

I definitely can imagine, however, that it's going to be very easy for people to "get inspired" by these books and get a temporary jolt, then boast about how much these things have "changed their lives", only to fall into the same old habits again a few months later (mostly because there's very few, if any, places in the book where you go "woah dude, that's so profound and I never thought of that" - which may ironically be a good thing, I'm not sure). You can't really blame the authors for that, though. A book is still just a book, and in that regard "Get a F***ing Grip" seems like it "just works" (and quite well, at that). But to give people real, tangible, step-by-step solutions is exceptionally hard, because not even neuroscientists know that much about the human brain - yet the "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" nonsense seems to be what most people think of as the "truth that needs to be spoken" - as if people haven't heard it all before, their entire life.

Then again, as Maya Angelou said, "People don't remember what you said. But they do remember how you made them feel", and Matthew's book does make you feel like all your f***-ups are "just fine, but now we need to fix them". And that feeling is pretty exhilarating. So whether or not it's merely a jolt - you WILL get jolted. Just make sure that it's not just your "monkey brain" that gets entertained here. Bananas cost less than $1 at the grocery store, after all.

I'd love to see the actual statistics for how many people actually DO "get a grip" (of the one's who didn't already have it, BEFORE reading such books). I mean, I must necessarily have some grip on things if I bother to actually pick up the book to begin with, on my personal behalf no less. To this extent, I think there's 4 types of people - (1) people who want to fail, (2) people who want to want success, (3) people who actually want success and (4) people who are successful. Most of us probably fall into most or all of these categories, in some way. Groups 1 and 4 obviously don't need this book (or any book, because they either don't listen (1) or you'd be preaching to the choir (4)), and group 2 will just use this book as an excuse to say that "look, at least I'm trying." (Newsflash: No, you're not).

Personally, I've realized how deeply misguided it is to want to want something, so I like to think I'm in the 3rd group. I genuinely want success, but all too often I look for advice and I get only vagueness back or, in the case of this book, concrete solutions that only evades the underlying problem. Sure, I've actually deleted my Twitter, Facebook and my Instagram, and I don't have a TV. But how much should I stay away from? What's next - hiding away in the deep, dank underground with only your ghoul manservant Argyle to keep you company? For the record though, this obviously isn't Matthew's point - his point is that you should get away from the digital, wishy-washy space in favor of physical, consequential reality. Because it's in the physical reality that your real problems get handled and confronted. "So get out there..."

What I'm referring to, however, is the fact that "to want" something and "to do" something are two entirely different phenomena. They are fundamentally different and involve different parts of the human brain. Hence why you can't just "think yourself well". They don't even correlate, a lot of the time. You don't always want the things you do (due to morality, peer pressure or otherwise) and you most certainly don't always do the things you want (else you wouldn't need these self-help books). There's a specific rift between your thinking and your acting, else the problem wouldn't exist to begin with. To pick oneself up by the bootstraps is easy for someone who does it naturally, without thinking about it. They have brain wirings that cause their decisions to signal out to the rest of his body.

The issue is even more complicated, because what your "monkey brain" wants and what you actually need (i.e. what your "higher self" wants) are two entirely different realities. And it's that reality that is muddled up for people like myself. Half the time, I don't know what I want because I don't have that level of self. So how do I construct a self? By just being who I am? Well... "WHO THE F*** AM I?!!!" and how much do I need to know in order for it to be sufficiently defined as "a self". Especially in a world where people just can't stop telling you and inventing narratives about who you are (and who they are).

Which leads me to believe that, when the biblical God told Moses "I am that I am", he may have just referred to the base state of being. I am whatever I actually am, NOT what you think I am and certainly NOT what you would personally prefer me to be like. But that's enough theology, for now.

Thankfully, those brain-wires I mention 3 paragraphs up (wall of text, anyone?) are to a large degree learnable. Not through some book, but by throwing yourself to what you prematurely define as wolves, and seeing what'll happen. Only by learning (or relearning) which rustles in the Savannah's grass are actually Lions and which are just the wind, can you ever hope to change your own behaviors. Matthew alludes to this, but again he doesn't hand out much that isn't already self-evident (which is understandable, since he'd probably need to write a separate book (or books) on the matter).

Anyways, I'm ranting here. My ultimate point is that, if you've already read "a billion books" on this topic, "Get a F***ing Grip" isn't for you. You need to "Get out there", whatever the heck that means in practice (which isn't much of an advice). But if you're fairly functional in life, you got fairly "normal" problems (i.e. you're not completely unhinged) and you're relatively new to the world of "self-help", I'd say this book is possibly one of the best pieces of literature you could ever read. It really is quite good and what drags it down are really just the issues that drag any self-help books down. You certainly can't blame Matthew for this.

What I'd love to see more of though, are more self-help books that go more in the direction of, say, The SAS Personal Survival Handbook (by John Wiseman). In other words, books that teach you specific life-hack skills, all in one place. Thankfully, we got the internet to teach us these things. So while you may have "Deleted your Twitter", I hope you won't follow Matthew's advice too much to the letter and cancel your whole Internet Connection. Because that's just... "precious". ;)

I think 4-stars, all things considered, is a fair rating for this book. It does stand out from a lot of them.

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