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  • It's OK That You're Not OK

  • Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
  • By: Megan Devine
  • Narrated by: Megan Devine
  • Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (205 ratings)
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It's OK That You're Not OK cover art

It's OK That You're Not OK

By: Megan Devine
Narrated by: Megan Devine
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Summary

A New Resource for Those Experiencing Loss

With It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides - as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner - Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it.

On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan's gentle but direct guidance, you'll learn:

  • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief
  • How challenging the myths of grief - doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold - allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve
  • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain

Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It's OK That You're Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves - and each other - better.

©2017 Megan Devine (P)2017 Sounds True

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What listeners say about It's OK That You're Not OK

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Great, depending on who is reading

I’m in two minds about this book, so bear with me.
My parent died a few years ago, so I have first hand experience of early stages if grief. I also am a trained bereavement supporter for a nationwide charity.

I feel like this book might be useful for a newly bereaved. They will find thar they are not alone in that experience, the author normalises feelings surrounding the grief through sharing her story. I probably would have liked to reas it when my parent died. However, she mostly focuses on ‘out of order’ death (I understand that as death that wasn’t meant to happen naturally), such like death of a child, death of partner or sibling while still young. There is no mention at all of death of an older parent, for example. It perhaps is ‘in order’ (?), but it still can be incredibly painful to live through. Would I have felt like I should not be grieving so deeply because my bereavement was ‘in order’? I don’t know, but it’s something to gear in mind.

If you are going to read this book as somebody who wants support a loved one through the grief, it might be useful, but I also feel like it also might put you off helping. There is lots of advice on what to do, but even more on what not to do, and it creates this picture that you need to thread on eggshells whilst blindfolded around the bereaved. I felt like there was a fair bit of contradicting advice and author come across somewhat bitter in places.
The underlying message is that you just need to bear witness to their pain and don’t try to fix it.

As a bereavement supporter I feel like have learned more from other books.

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11 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Best book I've read on living with great loss

I have read several books since the unexpected and tragic loss of my beloved son... Non has resonated nor validated as this one. So grateful to have found it...

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4 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Wise & compassionate

A wise and compassionate book. Well read. Useful for anyone who has been bereaved, and for those who support them.

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4 people found this helpful

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what I needed so much

loved this book so much ,so I sent hard copies to others I know greiving, who are simply expected to get over their loss in some public health measured time period . No other book on grief came close in giving me such comfort and I have read so many searching for the reason I haven't gone back to normal

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3 people found this helpful

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This book was exactly what I needed

Narrated beautifully, this really spoke to me. Mind you, it might not be everyone's view, but if you find that you don't fit into any "grief scenarios" imposed by society, give this a go. It voiced many thoughts I had after the loss. I think I might buy a paper copy now to give to people close to me, once I'm brave enough.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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honest and comforting

gives you hope when you're utterly lost and completely hopeless, comforting to know that getting over your loss isn't the only option.

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2 people found this helpful

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A comforting listen.

Having very recently lost my husband suddenly, I found this audio book a very soothing listen. With its practical tips on how to deal with your mind and body disturbances, it is reassuring to know that my experiences with grieving are as individual as I am, yet the intense feelings and emotions are "normal" (for want of a better word)

I would fully recommend listening rather than reading as it hits the spot. And the soothing voice certainly calms me down and sends me into a calm sleep.

I will recommend this to anyone who is grieving, even months or years down the line. It is helping me to realise that grieving is not something to get through, but something to live with in an evolving way.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The Author Absolutely Understands Grief

If you live with grief or you want to know how to help someone experiencing grief, please buy and read this book. The author is incredible. It's all 'as it really is' advice and help, no filler, no sparing the difficult stuff, amazing. The first book that has made me say "that's it, she absolutely understands".

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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One of the best books I ever read

Honest, insightful, practical, incredibly valuable advice. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever lost or will ever lose anyone special to them.

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1 person found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Real feedback on grief and loss

This book has helped me accept grief and loss will stay with me. It has held up a mirror of things I already knew but didn’t want to face. In providing a different perspective and being open with the raw truth it has opened my eyes and allowed me to cradle my feelings rather than try to offload them. It explained why others behave the way they do. It is ok that I’m not ok, says it all. If you are looking for answers this book helps support your questions. Especially those you didn’t know to ask.

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1 person found this helpful