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Summary

The pioneering experts behind the bestselling The Whole-Brain Child - Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel J. Siegel, the New York Times bestselling author of Brainstorm - now explore the ultimate child-raising challenge: discipline. Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Disciplineprovides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears - without causing a scene. 

Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth. By doing so, the cycle of negative behavior (and punishment) is essentially brought to a halt, as problem solving becomes a win/win situation. Inside this sanity-saving guide you’ll discover

  • strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy - and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart 
  • facts on child brain development - and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages
  • the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child - no matter how extreme the behavior - while still setting clear and consistent limits
  • tips for navigating your children through a tantrum to achieve insight, empathy, and repair
  • twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make - and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques.

Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors’ suggestions to life, No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child’s developing mind, peacefully resolve conflicts, and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family.

©2014 Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (P)2014 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Wow! This book grabbed me from the very first page and did not let go. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson explain extremely well why punishment is a dead-end strategy. Then they describe what to do instead. By making the latest breakthroughs in brain science accessible to any parent, they show why empathy and connection are the royal road to cooperation, discipline, and family harmony." (Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of The Opposite of Worry)

"Using simple and clear explanations, practical advice, and cartoons that make the how-to guidance come alive, this book is a rich resource for families trying to navigate meltdowns and misunderstandings. It explains how neurobiology drives children’s infuriating and puzzling behavior and will help parents make their way through the trenches of a typical day with grace, mutual respect, and a good helping of delight." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee)

"What a relief! Siegel and Bryson take the difficulty out of discipline, for parents or anyone who has to help kids behave. No-Drama Discipline offers a research-based, commonsense approach that any grown-up will be happy to use, and any kid will benefit from." (Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence)

What listeners say about No-Drama Discipline

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Dry content for an audiobook

I don't doubt that the authors know what they're talking about or their research, but I struggled with the format of an audiobook for this type of book. I personally found their voices quite monotonous. The book also spends a lot of time explaining the brain which is necessary yet seems to go on for a long time before you get to any tangible strategies for actually dealing with behaviour. I would have liked for it to be shorter and more concise, as I think that would have made the audio aspect more easily digestible. As a result I have bought a physical copy of the paperback which I find more useful.

29 people found this helpful

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  • G
  • 02-12-15

Challenged the way I thought about discipline

I admit I was sceptical when my wife suggested I read this. However it seems to make sense and it feels like it's making a difference with my son. If I think about it, there is commonality with some concepts and things I covered when doing a coaching course in the past.

Having now listened and seen improvements I'd recommend people try their approach.

Fyimthere is a useful crib sheet on their website that is useful to remember some of the techniques post listen.

14 people found this helpful

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Good theory - lacking guidance for implementation

Interesting book that expolores helpful concepts. Unfortunately it is let down by the very heavy repetition, unnecessarily complex strucures they have devised to address fundamentally straight forward concepts, and sometimes ignores the impact of the context in which discipline takes place (even though context is ackowlaged). Regular over exaggeration in stories is also exasperating (mostly in sections by Daniel). It did not inspire me to read the whole brain child.

3 people found this helpful

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Fantastic and insightful

Highly recommend this book for all parents or caregivers. This has made me rethink my approach to discipline and I've already seen the results in my daughter's behaviour. I can't be sure I'll always be able to stick to their guidelines, but I'll definitely try to come back to the techniques.

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I utterly love this book

By far the best parenting book I've come across will need to listen a few times though.
Just started the whole brain child would also recommend that book they are life changing books massive thanks to the authors.

2 people found this helpful

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Well worth the time & money

A must for all parents who struggle to connect to their children or feel they shout too much

2 people found this helpful

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Great advice

This book backed up with scientific evidence what my gut feeling had been - that shouting and punishments are not the best way to discipline children. It made me feel that you can be a non-shouter and a compromiser without being a pushover and has given me the confidence to continue with what I was already doing plus provided some very helpful new strategies.

4 people found this helpful

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book has good content but the stories really drag

I would love to get this book as a concise version showing all the main learning points. the content is great but the story is really drag on and often repeat themselves.

1 person found this helpful

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brilliant

As someone who works with children it was a fresh reminder how to help children grow emotionally through discipline rather than falling into the trap of just telling children what to do.

3 people found this helpful

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The most cohesive and compassionate parenting book I've ever read

And I read a lot of these books both for professional and for personal means. It is beautifully organised and is affirming of all the whole drama of being a parent including the chaos and struggle that inevitable occurs along the way. This is a book that's pitched to all parents and I even played some of it to my seven year old daughter and she took great pleasure in saying "hah you do that sometimes mummy" but I know she felt affirmed hearing what she heard. As a parent I feel calmed just listening to the calm and kind voices of the authors but most importantly, as this is a whole brain approach (read whole being approach) what they say not only makes wonderful sense but it actually works. I cannot recommend this book enough.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Andrew G. Hammond
  • 30-03-18

Unfocused presentation of great ideas.

While ostensibly written for parents, this book is wordy, repetitious and unintentionally condescending. The authors have enormously valuable information but fail to present it in a concise and direct format. There is so much repetition and careful couching of concepts that I found it difficult to stay focused on the book.

40 people found this helpful

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  • Mark Anderson
  • 15-05-15

It will change the way you parent!

If you could sum up No-Drama Discipline in three words, what would they be?

This book helped me with my daughter in so many ways. I have a new understanding of why certain things I did didn't work. This book is priceless for parents in my opinion.

35 people found this helpful

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  • Ian Mcewen
  • 14-06-17

most helpful parenting book I've ever "read".

I will recommend this book to anyone that is struggling with their parenting or is having issues with their self confidence with their parenting.
Daniel and Tina comfort you while also providing insight into the mechanics of brain development and invite you to be more curious about why our children behave the way they do. they give you strategies paired with questions/comments to ask and make. I've used them in moments of upset with my 5 year old and have had beautiful moments of connection after she has settled her big feelings. There was one day, where she cried for 50 minutes. First it was because it was time to get on the bus (no Wi-Fi for the iPad) then it was that she wanted to go for dinner, and then she wanted a treat. It was loud and unrelenting. I struggled to get through it and my internal dialogue was less than positive at times (brat, ungrateful, spoiled) but it also included sympathy for her big feelings and an understanding that it was probably about something else. In the end, through her tears, she said, I just want a big big big big... hug. I held her and she said, I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know what's wrong with me. such simple words but they made me realise that there are moments we all have that we are confused and lost. me getting mad at her for that would have made me feel like a terrible mother. I'm still learning to stay calm and allow my kids to have those moments of loud and intense emotions so will definitely listen to this book when I am struggling.

31 people found this helpful

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  • L.
  • 18-09-18

Awful

I really wanted to love this book. But there's so little practical advice, I was wondering if the authors are really parents. Save your money and time and read "How to talk so little kids will listen" instead. You will learn some practical tips you can use everyday as a parent from that book

20 people found this helpful

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  • asseret
  • 07-11-17

Read the whole brain child instead

Even though this is an excellent book, the whole brain child is better by far. I felt that some of the ideas where repetitive, and I didn’t find any new information compared to what I read in the Whole Brain Child. Having said that, this book was great too. I enjoyed it a lot and finished it fast.

28 people found this helpful

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  • G Busi
  • 23-02-15

I Can See Light At The End Of My Tunnel

I had reached the end of my rope with my 11 year old daughter's disrespect and defiance. After listening to No-Drama Discipline and using some of the technics taught in it I feel empowered! I actually understand my daughter's behavior much better and I now have the tools to direct and teacher her the proper way to handle herself when she doesn't want to do something. Instead of battling with her and handing out a punishment I'm able to step back and recognize which part of her brain she is using and help her move to the part of her brain that allows her to make better choices!! Thank you Drs Daniel and Tina!

65 people found this helpful

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  • Anastasia
  • 03-02-18

I'd like my parents to discipline me like that when I was a kid!

I've read lots of parenting books and so far encountered only two (including this one) which technics not only work but help to bond with your child. This book focuses on not how to make your child to do what you want, but how to teach your child so they understand why they need to behave that way. And this is one of the biggest parenting goals to make our children independent adults, who knows how to make good choices whether they are with us or not.

Sometimes it's a bit repetitive but this makes you see author message from various sides and remember it.

The second best book about parenting is "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk" Adele Faber. Another book about respectful parenting. Strongly recommend both books!

24 people found this helpful

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  • Visa
  • 31-05-18

not practical information

they speak alot about keeping and remaining patient and rational. which is a fantastic truth, but when referring to the title "no drama discipline" should really be called "no discipline. DRAMA!!" o.m.g where do I start, so many things wrong in here. they make the kid there 'equal' partner. and fill them up with nurture and coddling, because they don't want them to ever feel rejected when the kid does wrong. how does this prepare them for the real world? it's no wonder why teachers struggle with these kids in there classes today, because of this "new York bestseller" load of garbage. What's going to happen when they get a job and they talk back to there boss, (or as a student to their teacher) is the boss going to apologize and say "sorry if I lashed out at you, that was inappropriate, it's ok if u FEEL like not doing your job today, we'll get it better tomorrow." or another one; everything has to be "silly", junior doesn't want to sit in a car seat so instead of plopping the kid into the car seat and dealing with it, they said no that takes up too much negative energy so let's make it fun and laugh and smile and say let's sit on the invisible man while giggling. so there approach to every opposition the kid creates is to make it silly and fun. sorry that's no way preparing them for school, work, real life relationships. how bout just do what I say and deal with it. cry all u want, but it's life sometimes we have to do things we don't FEEL like doing period. this book is a joke and makes me sad that this has been taken so seriously to become n.y. best seller and even to the extent of it being adopted as doctrine for some institutions, when all its doing is grooming our kids for selfishness, neediness, and why me's, no lessons here. just pure coddling and parents apologizing

23 people found this helpful

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  • Yui094
  • 05-03-15

review

Thought provoking book. I have already implemented some of the techniques in the book. I'm trying not to be reactive but rather I'm trying to connect with my child.

23 people found this helpful

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  • JF
  • 04-08-15

Terrific book, terrific narrators.

I have listened to both The Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline and look forward to Brainstorm next. This book has helped me identify things I do correctly and not only things I can improve on but things I can repair. It has already impacted my relationship with both children (12 & 8), my wife, and business colleagues. I can't recommend these books enough. Thank you to all involved.

29 people found this helpful