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Passing Judgment
- Praise and Blame in Everyday Life
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
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Passing Judgment
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Summary
Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, rapidly we learn to value praise and to fear the consequences of blame. Despite outgrowing an infant's dependence, we continue to monitor others' judgments of us - and develop what relational psychologist Terri Apter calls a "judgment meter", which constantly scans people and our interactions with them, registering a positive or negative opinion.
Apter reveals how interactions between parents and children, within couples, and among friends and colleagues are permeated with praise and blame that range far beyond specific compliments and accusations. Drawing on three decades of research, Apter gives us tools to learn about our personal needs, goals, and values; to manage our biases; to tolerate others' views; and to make sense of our most powerful, and often confusing, responses to ourselves and to others.
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- Solveig Aasheim
- 26-07-23
Wonderful and practical insights
Apter is really apt to write great books on 'everyday' pscycology... Noo, but really. This is the second book I read and downed in just a couple of sittings (or walkings: this is indeed an audiobook) because of her great ability to explain human nature clearly and give concrete and common examples that I can relate to my own life AND make it interesting. Would definitively recommend this book for anyone to read, you might be as amazed as I was to discover how common certain judgements are and why judgement is even necessary, at least deeply grounded, in our everyday lives. Helpful knowledge in this day and age where opions ought to be vage, cloudy or non-existent for people to survive social settings.
Previosly read 'difficult mothers', both great reades!
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