Helping us listen and engage with people

I find myself formulating my responses to people while they are still speaking, which means that I don't think about what they are saying as well as I could do. Asking questions gives you time to listen better and it helps people think more about their own worldview.

I bought the first edition of this book in 2005 and found it very relevant because of the hot button issues of the day which it tackles, as we gossip the gospel within our circle of life. In recent years I have consumed more material by audiobook; I saw that this was available on Audible and updated for the issue of gay marriage, so I thought I would refresh my memory of it.

I was surprised that I hadn't properly taken in some of the basic principles which Randy is suggesting. We are not supposed to memorise Randy's clever dialogues as I had thought but to ask people what they think. Yes, we may need to have a conversation starter, but it's amazing that asking simple questions opens things up; for example, one of the best questions you can ask (amongst several others Randy suggests) is 'Really?' with the right intonation when people come up with crazy views about the world and humanity.

One example near the end which has remained with me is of a Christian woman who had watched a TV programme with very one-sided views of a topical issue. When it came up in conversation in the office, she immediately explained why it was one-sided. Out came her outrage at it being one-sided. But if she had asked what her colleague had thought about the programme, she might well have been surprised to hear that her colleague's views were much more open and nearer her own than she had thought, and she could have had a meaningful conversation.

I cannot give this book a high enough rating. I love all Randy's examples and I should probably listen to this once a year.

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