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  • Secure Love

  • Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
  • By: Julie Menanno
  • Narrated by: Julie Menanno
  • Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
  • 4.9 out of 5 stars (14 ratings)

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Secure Love cover art

Secure Love

By: Julie Menanno
Narrated by: Julie Menanno
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Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A good question, in theory, but expert couple's therapist Julie Menanno wants you to ask a slightly different one: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?

The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, a ground-breaking guide to secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment style has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it also helps us understand ourselves in relationships today based on that childhood attachment. How we attach-or don't-ultimately shapes our adult romantic relationship.

Julie Menanno is the couple's therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, which has one million followers dedicated to her wisdom. In Secure Love, Menanno tackles:

  • Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it's called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
  • The four attachment types, with exercises designed to help you understand your and any partner's attachment style.
  • How to improve communication in a relationship, including staying connected during conflict and prioritizing vulnerability-rather than protectivity-in communication.
  • "Instead of that, say this" suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in a relationship from a more productive and vulnerable stance.
  • Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple's sex life and how to restore that sexual connection.

Secure Love is a deep dive in understanding how you show up in a relationship and diagnosing the negative cycles you and your partner may get trapped in. It offers you the chance to learn how to establish and maintain a secure attachment to create a lifelong bond.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2024 Julie Menanno (P)2024 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

With Secure Love, you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship. Julie Menanno exquisitely explores the science behind attachment theory, how our earliest relationships impact our relationship today, and how to create a deeper bond together. A must read for any couple or therapist (Dr. Sue Johnson, bestselling author of HOLD ME TIGHT)
An essential, empowering and practical guide to navigating relationships. Filled with real-life examples from her work as a therapist, Julie Menanno teaches us how to connect with our partners to create a felt sense of safety, security and comfort, even when challenging times inevitably emerge (Jessica Baum, author of ANXIOUSLY ATTACHED)
As a therapist, I've seen thousands of people desperately wanting better relationships but not knowing what that means or how to create them. In Secure Love, Julie Menanno offers a practical, easy-to-understand guide to how attachment theory underlies the challenging patterns we bring into adult relationships and what we can all do to create the secure, lasting love we desire. This is a must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE)

What listeners say about Secure Love

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Hit home hard

Straight from the start the book hit me and my partner on so many levels allowing us to understand our relationship so much more and come to terms with alot of our past and to stop blaming each other for things out of our control. We're taught to act a certain way from birth which is what me and my partner had brought into our relationship, times are very different to how our parents were brought up.

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Outstanding roadmap for a more fulfilling marriage

This book is excellent. Julie is incredibly knowledgable but also is also able to explain these complex issues in really relatable ways.

Cannot recommend this book highly enough!

Excellent

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Hoping to learn something

This is the first time I have downloaded a book in an audible version. The author/narrator has a calm and soothing tone of voice. I am still early in on in the book and feel like I will have to listen to it more than once because my mind tends to wonder as I am listening to it. Wondering as in how what she is saying applies to me and my relationship just now as well as trying to figure out what’s what from when I was a child growing up. Author seems informative and her instagram page has a wealth of information so I am hoping the book will share a more in-depth understanding into relationships and attachments.

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Invaluable information and insights

A must read for any relationship . I loved it! Gonna go through it again soon I am sure!

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Helpful

Great book. I found it helpful. Now need to put it into practice!! Slightly west coat American in style, but self help books always are!

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