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Shame on Me

An Anatomy of Race and Belonging

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Shame on Me

By: Tessa McWatt
Narrated by: Tessa McWatt
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About this listen

FINALIST FOR THE GOVERNOR GENERAL'S AWARD FOR NON-FICTION

Interrogating our ideas of race through the lens of her own multi-racial identity, critically acclaimed novelist Tessa McWatt turns her eye on herself, her body and this world in a powerful new work of non-fiction.


Tessa McWatt has been called Susie Wong, Pocahontas and "black bitch," and has been judged not black enough by people who assume she straightens her hair. Now, through a close examination of her own body--nose, lips, hair, skin, eyes, ass, bones and blood--which holds up a mirror to the way culture reads all bodies, she asks why we persist in thinking in terms of race today when racism is killing us.

Her grandmother's family fled southern China for British Guiana after her great uncle was shot in his own dentist's chair during the First Sino-Japanese War. McWatt is made of this woman and more: those who arrived in British Guiana from India as indentured labour and those who were brought from Africa as cargo to work on the sugar plantations; colonists and those whom colonialism displaced. How do you tick a box on a census form or job application when your ancestry is Scottish, English, French, Portuguese, Indian, Amerindian, African and Chinese? How do you finally answer a question first posed to you in grade school: "What are you?" And where do you find a sense of belonging in a supposedly "post-racial" world where shadism, fear of blackness, identity politics and call-out culture vie with each other noisily, relentlessly and still lethally?

Shame on Me is a personal and powerful exploration of history and identity, colour and desire from a writer who, having been plagued with confusion about her race all her life, has at last found kinship and solidarity in story.

©2020 Tessa McWatt (P)2020 Random House Canada
Cultural & Regional Racism & Discrimination
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Critic reviews

"This remarkable meditation on beautiful, human bodies formed by the violence of slavery and by colonial shame resists categorisation, even as it shows up the ways in which categories of race and identity are no more than empty methods of social control. Reading this book I felt a profound sense of relief: that someone as wise as Tessa McWatt had the compassion and courage to write it. A deeply moving, urgent and important book." (Preti Taneja, author of We That Are Young)

"Heart-stopping and wise, exquisitely written, compellingly told, Shame On Me rises to a crescendo of such beauty and grace in its final chapter - a call to activism and resistance - that it left me breathless with the intensity of my own listening." (Rebecca Stott, author of In the Days of Rain)

Shame on Me is one of the most moving and intellectually profound books of its kind. As an ‘anatomy,’ it operates with surgical precision upon the necrotic legacies of race, affirming kinship and solidarity against the ongoing violence of silence and denigration. Courageously intimate and beautifully written, it is everything I admire in Tessa McWatt.” (David Chariandy, award-winning author of Brother)

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A moving search for identity

‘Who are you’ is the question that Tessa McWatt asks of herself as she moves through her life - but as the narrative develops you understand that this is the question we should be asking ourselves all the time.

Inevitably she navigates the racism so ubiquitous and subtlety developed (and often utterly blunt) among neoliberal societies - Tessa McWatt asks this in many different countries to include Canada and the UK and ends with interesting developments from science to include string theory, genome discoveries and viral transfer. Despite being relatively well read in both race and inequality I learned a lot - thank you.

I initially found her voice a wee bit of a monotone and wondered about her wisdom in choosing to read her own story as many authors do - I decided that she made the right choice; I can feel her emotions coming through as she reads, choking up once or twice, to have chosen an actor would have been a performance at one remove thereby confusing the very real identities and mutualities of the reader/author.

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