Hi. I hope you're ok.

My name's Joe, and I have one job, every day: don't kill myself.

I live with a complex mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Fifteen per cent of people with BPD die by suicide, and 40 per cent try. I'm already in the 40 per cent. My job is to keep out of the fifteen per cent.

It's so common for people with BPD to take their own lives that it's one of the only mental illnesses that lists suicide as a symptom. But that's not the only way it messes with you.

In this book I want to try and explain what life is like when you have a brain that is essentially trying to murder you every day. It's a collection of the funny, sad, shocking and weird stuff that has happened to me along the way.

I wrote this book to save my own life. Because I had run out of options. I had done everything else and I still thought about killing myself every day. But if there is even the smallest chance that me telling you how I live with me helps you live with you, and opens up a space for you to be more honest about your mental health, it will have been worth it.