The Science of Trust
Emotional Attunement for Couples
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The Science of Trust
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Narrated by:
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J. Charles
About this listen
For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.
Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect each other, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.
Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.
This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers a detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
©2012 John M. Gottman (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
What listeners say about The Science of Trust
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Lucy P
- 11-08-18
Great, useful points, but v. long winded
The points and examples in this book are so useful for anyone in a loving relationship that they want to maintain. However, so many side discussions come in (mathematical game theory etc) and are explored in so much detail that the most useful points end up coming along quite a time apart. In between the highlights, there’s discussion about lots of mildly interesting statistics, theories and papers of fellow relationship counsellors, and related mathematical relevant ideas. However, these sometimes look at how countries would have behaved rather than couples.
Overall good and worth getting though, but boy is it long winded!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 16-02-23
Visually reading advised
Extremely hard to follow mathematics non visually and with not enough real life examples
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- B
- 01-07-23
The best book to read about communication & social/romantic relationships
Dr Gottman’s books in general are the best books I’ve read on psychology of relationships or communication, and I’ve read so many I can’t count. His books will change the way i operate in the world.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Ms
- 05-09-14
Keep calm and read on
Would you try another book written by John M. Gottman or narrated by J. Charles?
Yes
What did you like best about this story?
Among the tons of (rather irrelevant) reviews of past research and mathematical equations, hide a few nuggests of wisdom and insight that I found really valuable.
What do you think the narrator could have done better?
Not try to play roles in a pretend voice
Could you see The Science of Trust being made into a movie or a TV series? Who would the stars be?
?
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- C.F.
- 21-04-21
Absolutely brilliant!
If you’re looking for answers, you’ll definitely find them here! Beautifully written and full of scientifically-backed truths!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mr
- 16-12-14
This book save my relationship at the time
Amazing book I can't recommend it enough. If I had to pay triple or quadruple for this book I would have considering what it taught me in hindsight. This review is written a solid 3 years after I read it. This will help non romantic relationships just as much.
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9 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
- G. Pretorius
- 23-12-12
Excellent Information for Couples
As practising couple therapist in the UK, who trained in Dr Gottman's work I can recommend this book. It contains excellent update on the research the Gottman's have done over the past few decades. And it works in practice. This book provides an introduction and update on their work.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- david davidson
- 21-08-17
Pompous style and minimal practical value
The book summarises Gottman's studies but yields little practical value. “Insights" such as 'betrayal by one partner damages the relationship' are unlikely to prove revolutionary and the summary of Gottman's studies will only be of interest to scientists.
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