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Wasted

By: Marya Hornbacher
Narrated by: Marya Hornbacher
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Summary

Precociously intelligent, imaginative, energetic, and ambitious, Marya Hornbacher grew up in a comfortable middle-class American home. At the age of 5, she returned home from ballet class one day, put on an enormous sweater, curled up on her bed, and cried because she thought she was fat. By age 9, she was secretly bulimic, throwing up at home after school, while watching Brady Bunch reruns on television and munching Fritos. She added anorexia to her repertoire a few years later and took great pride in her ability to starve.

Marya's story gathers intensity with each passing year. By the time she is in college and working for a wire news service in Washington D.C., she is in the grip of a bout of anorexia so horrifying that it will forever put to rest the romance of wasting away. Down to 52 pounds and counting, Marya becomes a battlefield: her powerful death instinct at war with the will to live.

Why would a talented young girl go through the looking glass and slip into a netherworld where up is down, food is greed, and death is honor? Why enter into a love affair with hunger, drugs, sex, and death? Marya Hornbacher sustained both anorexia and bulimia through five lengthy hospitalizations, endless therapy, the loss of family, friends, jobs, and ultimately, any sense of what it means to be "normal."

In this vivid, emotionally wrenching memoir, she recreates the experience and illuminates the tangle of personal, family, and cultural causes underlying eating disorders. Wasted is the story of one woman's travels to the darker side of reality, and her decision to find her way back again - on her own terms.

©1998 Marya Hornbacher (P)1998 Bantam Doubleday Dell Audio Publishing, Bantam Doubleday Dell Audio Publishing, A Division of Random House, Inc.
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Editor reviews

Who is raising our children? You hardly even know them, because you are gone before they wake up for school and they are home, doing God knows what, four hours before you are. There can't be any problem because they are smiling, have good grades, and look healthy. Wrong. Marya Hornbacher tears down the walls of home as she draws us into the folds of her life in, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia. Hornbacher reveals how a ballerina can weave her way through the world, with a smile, into college, while killing herself the entire time right under her parents' noses. Using her crafted skills with the pen and forcing personalism by narrating her own work, Hornbacher buried herself under my skin with her story. In a world that glamorizes the thin with fashion contracts, while ridiculing the heavy as freaks and misfits, Wasted serves as a billboard of our hypocrisy. (Jock C.)

What listeners say about Wasted

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Close to my heart

Such a heart-rending memoir, but such a favourite of mine. It has all the poetic beauty of Plath and the gritty realism of Irivine Welsh. Thank you, Marya, for sharing your story and letting us know we're not alone.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Well written and vulnerable

Aside from poor audio quality (which you get used to quickly) I really enjoyed this. I can’t believe the author was only 23 when she wrote it!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Would have loved the unabridged version

I love this book, as a person living with a longtime ed myself, it is so relatable. Well written and well told. I just wish it was not abridged, since I have not read this before and would have muchly preferred the full version.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Difficult, sad, profound

Jesus. This spoke to me. In a lonely ,un-lonely kind of way. I can't explain it. But what I will say is be careful if you have an eating disorder. I found this both immensely helpful and triggering all at once. It gets sadder and sadder and sadder.
Gosh.
What a talent though.
Read with caution fellow suffers, this book can be helpful or dangerous, whichever you let it be.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Why abridged?

This is a great story for angst-ridden teens and twenty-somethings. Unglamorous and honest. But why abridged? I always feel cheated by these short stories.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

honest story

This is such a beautifully honest book, with no over fantasised parts, that are very common when come to anything about eating disorders, despite to book being written over 20 years ago its still very relatable in the description or existence

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

loved it as much this time as the 1st time & after

A brutally honest, untinted reflection on one life with ED and the mania that comes with it. Beautiful writer.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Wow. Unbelievably beautifully written and insightful.

She has a deft and exacting way with words that cuts beautifully between recollection and theory. She is able to shine a light on the power and ridiculousness of her disorders. What she leaves out is as intriguing as what she’s left in.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Fascinating Story, Beautifully Read by the Author

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

The book offers a unmatched look inside the mind of a person with an eating disorder, and the consequences that follow.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Wasted?

There are moments where you can see right into the mind of the author, and you can feel the full range of her emotions, her pain, her desire to live. You will understand her and not understand her at the very same time.

What about Marya Hornbacher’s performance did you like?

Read with character and conviction, so full of life. Only the author could give such a convincing performance/

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Raw, damaged and beautiful autobiography

This is my favourite of the year.I listen to it3x a week.

It's brutally honest,raw&was clearly painful to write about yet is so eye opening,it draws you in and shows how poetic destruction can be.

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