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  • When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

  • By: George Carlin
  • Narrated by: George Carlin
  • Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (119 ratings)

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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? cover art

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

By: George Carlin
Narrated by: George Carlin
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Summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

  • You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.
  • A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."
  • I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
  • A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.
  • I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.
  • Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.
  • When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
  • Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!
  • O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.
  • ©2004 Comedy Concepts, Inc. (P)2004 Hyperion

    Critic reviews

    • Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
    • 2005 Quill Award Nominee
    • Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005

    "There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)

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    What listeners say about When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars

    Classic Carlin

    If you know George Carlin then you know what to expect. He delivers nothing short of what we've come to expect. funny quips and detailed analysis of how absurd life is... from a language point at least.

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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    George Carlin at his best, loved it 👍

    Loved it!! Highly recomended. I'm not an American but still it is hilarious to listen! George Carlin was one gem in this world. World is emptier without you....

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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    Like a 7 hr comedy show

    Carlin is always special but 7 hrs of Carlin comedy delivered by the man himself, superb

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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    Carlin was more than this World deserved

    George Carlin was one of the greatest minds we had the pleasure to see into through works like this. I haven't read/heard his other books so there could be better, but this was very entertaining and as always with Mr. Carlin, thought provoking. A little dated in places, so if you weren't culturally aware at the time this was written it might be a little lost on you, but it's not severe. Buy it and enjoy. WWGCD.

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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    Hilarious

    We will not see the likes of him again. He’s a true comedic great who is missed.

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars

    A must listen for comic lovers

    It's amazing in evey way the jokes are just next level I rate all of his book 20/10

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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    Pure Carlin

    If you are easily offended then please don’t listen to this audiobook. Intact, if you are sensitive and find yourself at home in the modern all-consuming PC, offence is a crime mentality, then please hide yourself away in a small dark room and stay there. If, on the other hand, you like your comedy angry and condemn the systematic destruction of true freedom of speech and opinion, please listen to George at his best.
    I loved this audio book for its brutal honesty and take no snowflake prisoners. I may not agree with everything George talks about but I’m glad he never pulls up short. Go George! Rant at consumerism, rage against the pro-lifers and out our so called political masters in their place!! I love Carlin and can’t wait to buy more of his albums. Hope you are sane enough to enjoy him too.

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      5 out of 5 stars
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    The funniest man to ever live.

    How could you possibly not love the late great George Carlin?
    Hilarious, wise, and insightful, this man will never fail to entertain, inform and educate.

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars

    The American Victor Meldrew ?

    I haven't even heard this yet, bar the sample preview, but knowing George Carlin's stand-up work, I know I'm going to enjoy it. He makes hard-hitting comments and detailed observations about life's ironies. And very funny it is, too.
    He swears a lot. Eddie Murphy uses expletives constantly, but with him it does seem gratuitous. By contrast, Carlin uses swearing only for comedic impact at strategic moments, and it works very effectively.

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    average at best

    a slight let down, unfortunately not as good as his stand up but otherwise a great listen while working or exercising.

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