The hosts of this show are many things. Men. Sports fanatics. Giant dorks. But they are truly, truly Americans. Not in a jingoistic, off-putting sense, but they are truly absorbed in American culture, the kind of thing Europeans scoff about but seem to actually enjoy. And truly, what is more American than talking about fast food?

In this episode, the boys draft their favorite fast food menu items to create a mini-restaurant of their own. Truly, the European mind cannot comprehend the levels on which these fellas are working.

In 2007, a bunch of people were drafted into Major League Baseball. Neither of our hosts, despite one being eligible, were drafted. He had a classmate drafted, which is good for him, but how does that help? It's not like he shared any of his signing bonus with me. Whatever, it's fine. I took revenge by not drafting him in this episode and instead drafting some guys that actually made the Majors. Several of whom were good.

The 1986 NBA Draft is one of the great what-if drafts of all-time. And while it is mostly remembered today for tragic reasons--the premature death of Len Bias and the squandered potential of Chris Washburn and Roy Tarpley--there were a lot of interesting contributors. So we shook up the formula a little bit. This time, instead of drafting the best available players with no consideration for the draft order, the boys are putting on their GM hats (GMs almost never wear hats, I'm pretty sure, at least not while they're working) and selecting on behalf of the top eight pick holders in the draft. Also we talked about Richard Petty's mayonnaise and black pepper sandwich for some reason.

It is very likely that in five months, we will either have our first woman president or our second president elected to non-consecutive terms. In either case, it makes the premise we're doing here feel uncomfortable. Like, is it less respectful to call Kamala Harris hot or not hot? They both seem bad in different ways. Also, the non-consecutive terms thing annoys me for apolitical reasons, as I get into during this episode.

We brought back resident Weird Draft Participant Tyler Cox and took turns drafting all 45 presidents by hotness. We also discuss the favorite movies of presidents and for some reason I bring up three separate songs by the 1990s--let's get back to this part--band Presidents of the United States of America. Are they a power pop band? A pop-rock band? An alternative rock band? Heck, on the basis of "Lump", a grunge band? I don't know. Cool songs, though.

Man, remember 2011? Well, you probably do, it was only 13 years ago. Though I guess if you're like a college freshman you probably barely remember it. My God, how young of listeners do we have? In a macro sense, neither of the hosts of this show are "old" but we are old in spirit, even though we spent the first segment of this episode roasting by far the youngest person alive to have ever been president for being a corny old man.

Anyway, we redrafted the 2011 NFL Draft. It was a really good one! Well, the draft was. The episode might be good, I'm not sure. That's up to you to decide I guess.

We are believers in the Draft Day community. Well, not really. In fact, this is the first time I've ever really considered the Draft Day community as a coherent thing. But this time I'm pretending to care.

In this episode, the boys go through four semi-out-there ideas for a future draft topic and narrow down their list to four finalists. Go to the Draft Day Twitter account (or X, or Epic Le Bacon Chuck Norris Social Media Site, or whatever dumb thing Elon's calling it these days) and vote for your favorite over the first few days after the episode goes live and have your voice heard! Or, well, your vote. Your click. Just vote if you feel like it.

The crack of the bat. The clash of foot against pigskin on a kickoff. The revving of engines in anticipation of the green flag. These are a few sounds that don't exist in the Summer Olympics. There are 47 sports that do exist, though, and in this episode we both drafted 23 of them. Which means we excluded exactly one sport. It deserved exclusion.

You looking to learn how some of the greatest players in sports history got their start? Well, that's too bad, because you're stuck with this one instead. I mean, there is one legitimately great player in here, but not every draft can be great. Otherwise, it wouldn't be special when a draft turns out great, or competent, or defensible.