Related Podcast Episode: E8: Boundaries: When to Say Yes and How to Say No
Recommended Book: Boundaries
Related Podcast Episode: E7: Codependecy: Your Happiness Matters Too

Forgive typos and odd grammatical mistakes—this was transcribed using the magic of AI, and while it's insanely awesome, it's not perfect.

[00:00:00] Welcome to the I Hear You podcast. Today's episode is a continuation of an earlier episode on the same topic, boundaries. Now, if you haven't yet listened to that episode, I strongly recommend you pause here and go back and listen to that one first, because today's discussion builds on concepts from that episode.

[00:00:20] Learning how to effectively set and hold boundaries is probably the single most important skill for living a healthy, happy life. And the reason is simple: boundaries provide healthy rules for navigating relationships; romantic, professional or otherwise. And yet, we live in a society that teaches and glorifies codependency. And again, if you're not familiar with that topic, go back and listen to that episode.

[00:00:46] We're taught that in order to be, quote unquote, kind, we have to give up our own needs and desires. Television, business, politics, even religion is filled with examples of poor boundary setting and poor emotional health. There are very few good examples of healthy, centered boundary individuals in this world, and so it's difficult for a lot of us to understand what emotional health looks like.

[00:01:15] So in today's episode, we dive deeper into the concept of boundaries and address a number of questions such as the following:.

[00:01:25] How do I know when I need to set a boundary?

[00:01:29] What if I'm setting a boundary with somebody, but the consequence that they have to face also affects me?

[00:01:36] What if I have a hard time enforcing or holding my boundaries? What can I do if my codependent tendencies take over?

[00:01:45] Are there times when it's appropriate to set boundaries with ourselves?

[00:01:47] What if I don't have a good explanation for enforcing my boundary? What if the other person keeps finding issues with my reason?

[00:01:58] We're gonna cover those topics, we're gonna dive deeper into boundaries in this episode. So without further ado, let's get into it.

[00:02:25] Okay. First off, I think it's helpful to do a quick recap whether you haven't yet listened to my first episode or it's simply been a while. Let's just quickly go over the basics before we dive into some of this deeper Q&A.

[00:02:39] So boundaries give us a sense of agency over our physical space, our body and our feelings. We all have limits. We all have things that we are and aren't okay with. Boundaries are what communicate that line to others. So the word boundary, though, can be a bit misleading because it conveys this idea of keeping yourself separate from people. You might think, well, am I just walling myself off, walling off my heart?

[00:03:08] No, that's not what I'm talking about when I say boundaries. Boundaries are actually connecting points because they provide those healthy rules for navigating our relationships. In fact, quoting from a woman named Melissa Cote's, she's a licensed professional counselor. I fo...