Performance anxiety. How does it show up and how to break free.

How does performance anxiety stand in your way from being you and living the life you want to live?

Relationship between performance anxiety, trauma, ADHD, fawn and freeze.

Just do it. I can bet you that you won’t regret the times you tried something new, something a bit outside the comfort zone. The times you stood in fear and discomfort because you were super excited to get somewhere.

Sharing passions and dreams, and everything else close to our hearts, can bring enormous discomfort and resistance.

It’s where we are most afraid of rejection, judgement and criticism. So oftentimes we keep it for ourselves. Well hidden from the outside world.

Sometimes even more from our closest, because we couldn’t bear hearing that they don’t like or accept this side of us.

So we hold back.

Keep our babies safe.

We hide our softness and love.

What if we can find love for ourselves in every moment. Who I we are here and now.

And bring the heart into our conversations.

Start pulling people in, instead of pushing them away. Seeing cooperation instead of competition.

Seeing invitations, warmth, curiosity, love and connection by assuming the best about other people. Assuming that people can handle us and like us.

And that we can handle when they don’t. Because let’s be honest. Everyone dislikes and judges something about us. No one likes it all and wants to be with us 24/7 for the rest of their lives..

Even though they love us, likes us and wants to be our friends, partners and colleagues.

And still when they dislike us, they still want to have us in their lives. And if they can’t handle our inner truths, who we are underneath all of the walls and protection mechanisms, well, then maybe it’s not people we wanna have in our lives.

Let’s dare be soft and squishy.

Let’s see each other and find inspiration in each other. Co-create and find heartfelt connections where we often see competition, jealousy, criticism and judgement.

Let’s have trust and faith in ourselves and others.

Let’s learn to listen and invite people in. Be curious and create conversations. Let’s build connection where we often create disconnection and push people away.

Everyone is just a person, probably doing the best with what they know.

Let’s be compassionate, assume the best, give people the befit of the doubt, believe people are soft and squishy inside their hearts and try and understand where their love goes.

Let’s have the uncomfortable conversations and listen to what we disagree with. Let’s create conversations where we now have monologues.

After burnout and healing people pleasing, codependency and trauma comes a journey into a new kind of living.

A life doing what is right for me, because I want it, like it, find joy in it.

A life where I let people in, where I believe I belong, where I trust people’s intentions, love and attention.

Where I believe in my ability to create the life I long for. That everything I need to feel safe is available to me, as long as I lean into it.

We are whole beings,

still when we are healing and in need of support we are all of those other things we have always been.

When healing it’s easy to feel disempowered though. To feel stuck, needy, helpless, misunderstood, lonely, insecure. Often because people start feeling sorry for us, sympathize, look down on us, try to fix us.

Our need for support, empathy and compassion makes people uncomfortable. They don’t know how to handle our feelings, our situation and so they become rescuers, trying to fix us. Bring us out of our situation by telling us what to do and not.

Instead of listening, people tell and push their knowledge and truths on you. You become the victim. The helpless person in need of help.

People stop believing you are capable of taking care of yourself, or doing stuff, so they are annoyed. Find you needy. They become the perpetrator critiquing you.

Both the rescuer and perpetrator enabling/ creating exactly what they dislike in you; your helplessness.

You stop believing in your abilities, become insecure and think that you truly need others. That you are helpless. That you cannot trust yourself.

When needing help this truly happened to me. I totally lost my abilities while convincing NAV that I needed support healing trauma.

Suddently I didn’t believe in myself. I went from being a person really capable of making things happen, into not trusting myself at all.

What if we can get support and believe in ourselves at the same time?

The difference between sympathy (looking down at people) and empathy (still believing in people’s capability of taking care of themselves) is crucial in a healing journey.

I am ready to share my story.

Xoxo

Therese Fallentin

En guidet kroppsskanningsmeditasjon (body scan).

Jeg tar deg gjennom kroppen og hjelper deg med å spenne av, legge bort stress og lande i ro, aksept og tilstedeværelse.

Sammen øver vi på mindfulness (tilstedeværelse) med det som er.

Musikken:

Artist: Alan Frijns

Låtnavn: Meditation at the river yoga zen relaxation positive sleep music

Lastet ned fra: Pixabay (spor 140641)

Meg finner du her:

https://magefolelsen.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/therese-fallentin/

https://www.instagram.com/magefoelelsen.podcast/

Stor klem fra meg

Therese Fallentin

& Magefølelsen Podkast

Ærlighet vs å tilpasse seg (people pleasing).

Tilhørighet vs å passe inn.

Kindness vs niceness.

Autentisitet vs å late som.

Være meg selv vs å være noe jeg ikke er.

Connection vs disconnection.

En del av vs ensom og utenfor.

Inkludering vs ekskludering.

Å bli hørt vs ikke bli hørt.

Skaper av eget liv vs offer av omgivelsene.

Hvor mye av dette handler om vårt indre selv snakk?

Hva om vi kan (internt) snakke oss til bedre relasjoner med oss selv og andre? At det som står i veien for tilhørighet og tilknytning er oss selv og våre egne tanker.

Klem fra meg,

Moder Mot

Therese Fallentin

Meg finner du her:

https://magefolelsen.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/therese-fallentin/

https://www.instagram.com/magefoelelsen.podcast/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063836841693