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That's Where I'm At

By: Laura Richards
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  • Summary

  • Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Get ready for a podcast that takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions. While we may share some laughs, we dive into serious topics with honesty and compassion. Together, we'll explore life's ups and downs, navigate tough discussions, and find moments of hope. Join our supportive community and be part of meaningful conversations. Subscribe now for a journey that's messy, real, and transformative!
    2023
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Episodes
  • Unpacking Toxic Shame: A Journey to Vibrant Living with Emily

    Unpacking Toxic Shame: A Journey to Vibrant Living with Emily
    May 15 2024
    In this episode, I’m joined by Emily who shares her powerful journey of discovering and healing from toxic shame that stemmed from her childhood. She opens up about the invalidating messages she received growing up that made her feelings feel taboo and shameful. Emily discusses hitting rock bottom despite being a believer, feeling weighed down and like her world was gray. Her turning point came when she went through a program called Regeneration (Celebrate Recovery) that helped her unpack her toxic shame. Emily vividly describes the transformation she experienced, where her world went from gray to vibrant colors and she could finally laugh out loud and celebrate herself. She also explains key lessons like the difference between healthy guilt that provides a warning system, and toxic shame that makes you feel subhuman. Tune in and discover the hope that comes from knowing freedom from toxic shame is achievable! Timestamps: [01:53] Emily's background and journey [02:46] Significance of recognizing and addressing toxic shame [06:44] The pervasive influence of toxic shame, stemming from family and society [10:18] The importance of listening to one’s feelings and intuition [15:07] Emily’s reflection on her struggle with self-abandonment [19:14] Finding Regeneration (Celebrate Recovery) program [25:45] How Emily discovered her ability to express joy and celebrate herself [29:57] The difference between guilt and toxic shame [32:36] How guilt is a helpful warning, while shame sends you into a "deep dark place" [35:00] The interaction of admiration, emotional hurdles, and personal insecurities in relationships [40:00] Guidance for healing after divorce [44:39] Value of establishing boundaries to prevent pent-up frustration or resentment [51:10] Embracing discomfort and building resilience [59:52] Emily's growth and progress in her healing journey [01:10:20] Strategies for setting boundaries Quotes: Feelings were just kind of taboo. It wasn't like anyone ever said don't feel. But I kind of learn. But when I feel I get in trouble for feeling.I was a people pleaser, I was a chameleon. I just kind of like evolved into whatever I felt like wouldn't get me attacked or criticized or shamed.So you know, if you like kind of feel that sense of like, oh yeah, like I wanna hide because I just did something I know I'm not supposed to do. Yeah. That's that shame.I remember having conversations with my mom where I wasn't getting frustrated and I wasn't getting impatient. Like no matter what was happening, it was just like flowing off of me.Shame means like I am bad. Okay. Versus guilt. Like, oops, I did something bad.That guilt is then a warning to tell you like, okay, well now next time I know I need to prepare. RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards FOLLOW EMILY: Emily’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emily.ehe.5 Emily’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilyraecreationsandmore/ Emily’s Info: https://msha.ke/emilyraecreations Emily’s books: Finding the Root https://a.co/d/8FfnRab Finding Diamonds https://a.co/d/hBQCey8 Book on Boundaries: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/product/boundaries Celebrate Recovery: https://www.celebraterecovery.com
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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • The Trauma Bond: Understanding the Cycle of Abuse in Narcissistic Relationships

    The Trauma Bond: Understanding the Cycle of Abuse in Narcissistic Relationships
    May 1 2024
    Today Laura is joined by Paris Turner, a beauty, business, and relationship coach who delivers entertaining talks and speeches that challenge audiences to level up and focus on what matters most in life. Audiences love her practical strategies, witty humor, and life wisdom, which they can apply personally and professionally. Paris earned her BA in business management from Northwest University and a UI/UX design certification from Bethel School of Technology. She has received numerous awards for her work in social justice causes and advocacy. Her strong background in leading, and speaking and her life experience make her uniquely qualified to discuss various topics. Organizations love working with Paris because of her unique perspective and ability to help people create solutions to complex problems. In this episode, Paris shares her expertise as a beauty, business, and relationship coach specializing in narcissistic relationships. She talks about the manipulative tactics used by narcissists, such as love bombing, boundary violations, and excessive attention, and emphasizes the importance of recognizing red flags and trusting one's intuition. Paris discusses the aftermath of leaving a narcissistic relationship, including post-separation abuse, smear campaigns, and the struggle to rebuild self-worth. She shares her personal journey of healing and self-discovery, highlighting the need for setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care. Paris provides valuable insights into navigating and overcoming the complexities of abusive relationships, empowering listeners to address manipulative behaviors, set healthy boundaries, and prioritize their emotional well-being. Join now! Timestamps [00:02:12] Paris’s biography and shared experiences with narcissistic relationships [00:04:38 ] Recognizing narcissistic traits in relationships [00:06:07] Overdramatizing red flags and signs of narcissism [00:09:20] Post-separation abuse and tactics used by narcissists [00:10:32] Long-term effects of narcissistic relationships [00:14:34] The importance of sharing experiences and seeking support [00:22:12] Feeling alone and overcoming shame in abusive relationships [00:25:42] The importance of seeking outside opinions and validation [00:28:26] Escaping from narcissistic relationships and post-separation abuse [00:31:22] Charismatic nature of narcissists and smear campaigns [00:33:34] Recognizing love bombing and red flags in new relationships [00:45:11] Trusting Intuition and Self-Validation [00:51:33] Dating After Abuse [00:59:21] How Paris lost everything due to an abusive partner [01:12:11] Being poised through the healing process while still allowing emotions [01:19:32] The importance of prioritizing healing and self-love after abuse Quotes Once you find what you're worth more than then that's when you begin to go, you know what? I'm worth a lot more than this.I treated myself the way I learned. Now, what I want in a relationship is how I treat myself. The most important thing for me, just in my life in general, has been self-love and understanding my weaknesses.They need supply because that's how they feel good about themselves. So they gotta have someone who's kissing their butt, blowing their head up, inflating ego.It's love bombing. That's it. You know, just saying those words makes you feel like, really, you've never been this happy, I've never been this in love, or whatever. It's like, really ever.A lot of times, they control the narrative for so long, and you know, when you trust someone. When you think of those things like you, you don't think twice. But a lot of times in those situations, it's almost like, you know, like we were saying, Hmm. Something, it just doesn't seem right. RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards CONNECT WITH PARIS: www.paristurner.com enjoyingyourjourney.org THERAPY JEFF: https://www.therapyjeff.com
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    1 hr and 24 mins
  • Making Friends After 40 with Paige Dempsey

    Making Friends After 40 with Paige Dempsey
    Apr 26 2024

    Today Laura is joined by Paige Dempsey, a feminist dating and relationship coach, to discuss the challenges many women face in making new friends as adults, especially after significant life transitions like divorce. They share vulnerably about their experiences putting themselves out there to find connection, whether showing up for meetup groups, joining social media communities, or simply striking up conversations at local events. Paige offers practical advice for taking it slow when getting to know new people, asking questions, and being open even when feeling uncomfortable or fearing rejection.

    Are you looking to grow your circle of friends in this season of life? Join the conversation now to get tangible tips and an empathetic perspective!

    Timestamps

    [2:02] The difficulty of making friends as an adult

    [6:54] Advice for being okay with discomfort when meeting new people

    [12:04] Where to find potential new friends (social media, local groups, events)

    [15:43] Laura's experience trying to make new friends

    [18:05] Importance of asking questions, being open, and not rushing into friendships

    [19:35] Importance of being participatory at events

    [21:54] The opening line Paige uses to start conversations

    [21:12] Extending invitations and not taking rejection personally

    [22:41] Recommendation for the book "Platonic" on making friends as an adult

    Quotes
    • We don't have to go off the high board into like the 12-foot area, you know, in the beginning. We just have to start with the beginning, which is like, let's have coffee and chat for an hour and see how that goes.
    • If you are having trouble meeting people in 2024, that is on you. It's never hard in the history of ever, has it been easier to find humans to connect with, with this little portable device that is always in your hand or on the or in front of you.
    • We as women are good at having conversations. We're good at connecting with people. There are people in your life that you know how to connect with and those skills don't go away.
    • If you go to events, you have to be participatory in meeting the people saying hello, and having conversations.
    • The best opening line, I mean the one that I always use if I walk into a room or a group or a table or a fundraiser and stick out my hand and say, hi, I'm Paige.
    • Let's get back to that energy of being kids and not worrying about, you know, what they will think, what I am wearing, what they are wearing, and all that stuff.
    RESOURCES:

    FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

    BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

    FOLLOW PAIGE:

    www.paigedempseycoaching.com

    https://www.instagram.com/datingcoachpaige

    https://www.tiktok.com/@datingcoachpaige

    https://www.facebook.com/paigedempseycoaching/

    "Platonic" by Marisa G. Franco (on making friends as an adult): https://drmarisagfranco.com/secrets-to-making-friends-as-an-adult/
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    24 mins
Psychology Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Success
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