Domestic violence is a pervasive and often hidden issue that affects millions. Recognizing the early signs of an abuser can be crucial for protecting yourself and breaking free from a dangerous situations. Many survivors of domestic violence report overlooking or rationalizing away subtle red flags in the early stages of their relationships. By understanding and identifying these early warning signs, you can be empowered to recognize potentially abusive behaviors and seek help before situations escalate.

In this episode, I share my personal story of domestic violence, exploring a series of pivotal moments that shed light on the complex dynamics of abusive relationships. From my initial move to Florida with my ex to the gradual loss of my personal freedom and the first time he physically abused me. My story serves as a reminder of how abusers can manipulate and control their partners. I highlight how my abuser isolated me, controlled our finances, and undermined my success and independence. By sharing these experiences, my goal is to empower other women to identify red flags in their own relationships and seek help before the situation escalates. Tune in to learn about my journey through years of abuse, my path to healing, and how I found love and joy on the other side of this traumatic experience.

Timestamps

[00:00] Life with my ex in Florida

[04:50] The false sense of security masked with humor, fun, and what I naively thought was love

[06:45] Justifying where I was going every time I had to leave the house

[07:55] Moving from Florida to Georgia

[09:46] Financial abuse and emotional belittling due to my promotions at work.

[11:48] The first incident of physical abuse and what I did next.

[15:58] Being forced to quit my job because of my friend at work

[17:16] The abuse from him continued, in big and small ways.

[18:14] Realizing I was pregnant

[18:50] Anger management classes and therapy sessions for healing

[20:17] Moving back to Florida because of my pregnancy. Further isolation as I’d built a little bit of a support system in Georgia and he couldn’t allow that.

[21:22] He wouldn’t cover my pregnancy health care bills and insurance

[21:43] How I ended up being a prisoner again in my house

[23:11] I had to prepare to take care of my daughter and myself

[26:06] Ways they pull you away from environments where you have resources

• “Don’t put everything that you have in the hands of another person.”
• “These types of people will start questioning your success because your success starts threatening their ego.”
• “I had no access to any of our money or anything, and he liked it that way.”

Website: http://www.gabigarland.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabi.garland/

Recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship can be challenging, especially when the abuse is subtle or disguised as love and concern. Abusive behavior often starts gradually, with seemingly minor incidents that escalate over time, making it difficult for victims to identify the pattern. Understanding these signs is crucial for potential victims and friends, family members, and professionals who can offer support and intervention.

In this episode, I share a series of pivotal moments, including quitting my job to move in with an abuser and the realization that things were not as they seemed; we gain insight into the complex dynamics of abusive relationships. This narration serves as a stark reminder that abusers often prey on those who are vulnerable or lacking in self-esteem. However, not always and in Gabi's story she was confident, successful and led a very happy life. Her goal is to highlight the importance of recognizing the warning signs early on. By sharing this story, The goal is to empower other women to identify red flags in their relationships and seek help before it's too late. Tune in to learn more about the story of my years spent with an abuser and how 20 years later I've healed so much of the woman I was back then and have found love and joy on the other side of abuse.

[02:10] Domestic Violence & reflection after watching #itendswithus

[05:17] My ex's death

[07:31] How I met him

[13:16] When the isolation started - key signs early on abusers do to isolate you

[16:10] When the unraveling of my self esteem and worthiness began

[19:52] The first trip to meet him

[25:20] Quitting my job to move across the country

• “I wish that I had somebody to tell me this is crazy back then.”
• “The things that are said or the ways that we show up in the world are based upon the narrative that we have carried from somebody else’s shitty words.”
• “Sometimes, you don’t know or believe, you have the ability to start a new life.”
• “We have the ability to choose.”
• “Money and power go hand in hand, especially with men that are abusive and manipulative.”

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabi.garland/