The "So Now What?" Podcast

By: Lana Manikowski
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  • Summary

  • I am a Fertility Survivor. The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless. After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment. It left me asking myself... So now what? For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't. I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body. I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. I didn't find it, so I decide to create it. Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed. I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother. I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman. I will share the many tools I have acquired through my Certification in Life Coaching and I will share it all with you here on The "So Now What?" Podcast. If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered. Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know. We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore. Follow me on Instagram: @lana.manikowski to learn more about the opportunities available for you to live childfree, with meaning and purpose.
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Social Sciences Personal Success
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Episodes
  • Life After Infertility: 10 Common Struggles and How to Move Beyond Them

    Life After Infertility: 10 Common Struggles and How to Move Beyond Them
    Sep 24 2024
    If you’re childless after infertility treatments, you are not alone, even though it might feel like you are. In this episode, I open up about my personal journey through seven years of fertility treatments, only to end up without the child I dreamed of. I know firsthand how devastating and isolating this experience can be. What most women don’t realize is that these feelings—grief, confusion, loss of purpose—are prevalent among women who have undergone IVF or fertility treatments without having a child. But here’s the truth: most fertility clinics don’t offer the support or resources to help you make sense of life after treatments. We’re left to navigate this uncharted, unexpected path without guidance. That’s where today’s episode comes in. I’ll walk you through the 10 most common struggles women face after unsuccessful fertility treatments, and more importantly, I’ll show you how you can begin to shift your perspective so these struggles no longer define your life. Key Points from This Episode 1. Grief and Loss Grieving after infertility is specific and complex.Grieving the loss of your dream of motherhood is deep and often unacknowledged by others. It doesn’t have to define you forever. 2. Identity and Purpose When motherhood doesn’t happen, it can feel like you’ve lost your identity. But there is so much more to you than the title of “mom.” You can redefine your life and find purpose in a way that is fulfilling. 3. Feelings of Failure It’s easy to feel like your body failed you, but infertility is not your fault. Learning to release self-judgment is crucial to moving forward and finding peace. 4. Compassion and Jealousy Seeing friends and family share milestones with their children can lead to feelings of comparison and jealousy. But you can release those feelings and celebrate your own unique journey. 5. Isolation Infertility and childlessness can be isolating. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Finding a community that truly understands what you’re going through is important. 6. Relationships with Partners Infertility puts a strain on relationships, but it’s possible to reconnect with your partner in a deeper way once you release the weight of grief. 7. Navigating Friendships Being the only childless friend in your circle can feel isolating, but your friendships can evolve, and you can still find meaningful connection. 8. Cultural and Social Expectations Society places a lot of pressure on women to find purpose in motherhood. However, you define your own success, and it doesn’t have to include children. 9. Uncertainty About the Future When your future no longer includes children, it can feel like you’ve lost direction. But you can create a new vision for your life that feels exciting and full of possibility. 10. Fear of Aging Alone The fear of growing old without children is real, but you can build meaningful relationships and a support system that gives you love and care throughout your life. Why This Episode Matters: The feelings you’re experiencing after leaving fertility treatments without a child are not unique to you. They are incredibly common, yet rarely talked about. Most fertility clinics don’t provide resources for women in this situation, which leaves us feeling alone. But you don’t have to stay stuck in these feelings forever. There is a way to shift your perspective and move from merely surviving to thriving. In this episode, I share how the women I’ve helped through my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind have shifted their lives from being consumed by grief and loss to feeling fulfilled and hopeful for the future. As someone with an advanced certification in grief and post-traumatic growth, I understand the weight you’re carrying, and I’m here to help you transform your life. Resources Mentioned: Thrive After Infertility: A 12-week coaching program for women who are childless after infertility, and craving a sisterhood with women who are ready to thrive and feel fulfilled without the children you always dreamed of -Free Thrive Call: Ready to explore what’s next for you? Let’s get on a free call and create a plan that helps you move forward. - Free Resource: Grab my free guide, *“The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond”*. Join the Conversation Have you experienced any of these struggles? How are you working through them? Connect with me on Instagram @lana.manikowski and let’s continue this important conversation. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
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    15 mins
  • Reconnecting with Your Body After Infertility

    Reconnecting with Your Body After Infertility
    Sep 17 2024

    Welcome to another episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast! This week, we’re diving into the important topic of body image after infertility—a struggle many women face when their journey to motherhood didn’t go as planned. If you’ve been feeling disconnected or resentful toward your body after years of fertility treatments, this episode is for you.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • Why body image struggles are common for women who are childless after infertility.

    • How to begin the process of healing your relationship with your body by focusing on what your body does for you every day.

    • The benefits of gentle movement and why it’s important to move your body with kindness.

    • How to embrace body neutrality as a step toward self-acceptance, even if body positivity feels out of reach right now.

    • Practical self-care tips to help you reconnect with your body, including writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.

    This episode also touches on self-compassion and how small shifts in how you think about your body can lead to big changes in how you feel about it. Whether it's appreciating that your body allows you to take a walk, or simply that it keeps you alive each day, reconnecting with your body is possible—one step at a time.

    Lana also introduces her Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, a 12-week coaching program designed to support you through challenging holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. You’ll get the tools and community to help you thrive, even when it feels like life didn’t go according to plan.

    Key Takeaways from This Episode:

    • Body Image After Infertility: Understanding why infertility can make you feel disconnected from your body and how to start healing.

    • Gentle Movement and Self-Care: How small acts of kindness, like yoga or a walk, can help you feel more connected to yourself.

    • Body Neutrality: Why you don’t have to love your body right away, but you can learn to accept and care for it.

    Want More Support?

    • Get the replay of Lana’s free class on handling awkward questions about not having kids. Just email her at hi@lanamanikowski.com or DM her on Instagram.

    • Join the Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Learn more about this supportive, transformative program here.

    • Download Lana’s free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay.
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    12 mins
  • Embracing Friendships When You're the Only Childless One

    Embracing Friendships When You're the Only Childless One
    Sep 3 2024

    In this episode, Lana dives into the complex emotions that can arise when you’re the only one in your group of friends who is childless after infertility. If you've ever felt like an outsider among your BFFs as they talk about their kids, this episode is for you. Lana explores how to maintain meaningful connections, even when your life looks different from those around you. She shares personal stories and practical advice on how to embrace your unique journey, reclaim your relevance in your friendships, and feel empowered in your childless future.

    What You’ll Learn:

    • How to recognize that your value in friendships isn’t diminished just because you don’t have kids.
    • Tips on finding common ground with your friends that doesn’t center around motherhood.
    • The importance of embracing your own journey and sharing your unique perspective with your friends.
    • How to set compassionate boundaries with friends who are moms, and why it’s okay to do so.
    • Ways to feel connected and relevant in conversations, even if you don’t have parenting stories to share.

    Key Takeaways:

    • You don’t have to relate 100% to everyone’s experiences to feel connected and valued.
    • Your friends appreciate you for who you are, not for how closely your life mirrors theirs.
    • It’s okay to set boundaries when certain topics or events feel too painful, and real friends will respect that.
    • Embracing your journey as a childless woman can deepen your connections with your friends.
    • You have the power to create and maintain meaningful connections, regardless of your childless status.

    Resources Mentioned:

    • Free Class: Register for Lana's free upcoming coaching class on September 10th about how to handle comments and questions when you're childless. If you can’t make it live, don’t worry—register to receive the replay.
    • Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Interested in joining Lana’s next Thrive After Infertility Mastermind starting on October 1st? This program is designed for women ready to move beyond their infertility journey and create a life they love.
    • Free Resource: Get Lana’s free guide, "The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond," at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay.

    Support the Podcast: If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating and reviewing the podcast. Screenshot your review and send it to Lana to receive a $5 Starbucks gift card as a thank you! Your reviews help other women who are searching for resources to find the support they need.

    Stay Connected:

    • Follow Lana on Instagram: @LanaManikowski
    • Join the conversation on Facebook: Lana’s Facebook Page

    Thank you for listening! Remember, it's never too late to discover your meaning and fall in love with your life again. Tune in next week for another empowering episode.
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    13 mins

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