Showing results by narrator "Jesse Bernstein" in All Categories

In response to an awful camp orientation video created by the god Apollo, Percy Jackson and other residents of Camp Half-Blood answer such questions as 'what is this place?' and 'do I get to keep the T-shirt?' Newbies can check out the section on the Divine Cabins, read up on Magical Landmarks, and consult the chapter of Training Arenas. But Camp Half-Blood Confidential explores much more than just the buildings and grounds. It includes info that can be learned only from those who live there.

Everyone's favorite game maker, Mr. Lemoncello, is testing out his new Fabulous Fact-Finding Frenzy game! If Kyle can make it through the first round, he and the other lucky finalists will go on a great race - by bicycle, bookmobile, and even Mr. Lemoncello's corporate banana jet - to find fascinating facts about famous Americans. The first to bring their facts back to the library will win spectacular prizes! But when a few surprising "facts" surface about Mr. Lemoncello, it might be go to jail and lose a turn all at once!

When seventh grader Georges (the S is silent) moves into a Brooklyn apartment building, he meets Safer, a 12-year-old coffee-drinking loner and self-appointed spy. Georges becomes Safer's first spy recruit. His assignment? Tracking the mysterious Mr. X, who lives in the apartment upstairs. But as Safer becomes more demanding, Georges starts to wonder: how far is too far to go for your only friend? Liar & Spy is an inspired, often-funny story about destiny, goofy brilliance, and courage.

Rufus has been dreaming of getting a dog. His best friend has one. His worst friend has one. But his dad has a few objections: They whine. They gnaw. They bark. They scratch. They beg. They drool. Rufus pays no attention when his mom offers her think-outside-the-box suggestion, because she can't be serious. She can't be. She can be. And she actually comes home with a guinea pig. And if Rufus's dad thinks dogs are a problem, he won't know what hit him when he meets the Guinea Pig that thinks she's a dog.

Leo has explored the zany, wonderful Whippet Hotel from basement to top floor, with trains, flying goats, and mazes (among other things) in between. But even Leo doesn't know every secret of the Whippet and when he discovers that there's more beneath the hotel than he'd thought, it doesn't take long for more adventures to unfold!

While Meggie and David Blue are from another planet, they're a lot like Earth kids, with similar hopes and dreams, and can't wait to grow up. But they also have grossly unique qualities, such as blue streaks in their hair that pop up randomly and language skills that sound like nothing on this planet. The story takes these alien kids, along with their mother and grandfather, by accident, to a far planet in which the society is not only oppressive but hostile to individual freedom. People are kept submissive through drugs and brainwashing.

So, life sucks just about as much as it possibly can. And when I see gargoyles heading straight for me, all I'm left wondering is who will kill me first - the winged monster-hunters, or the angry sea dragons? What I don't expect? The gargoyles don't know who or what I am. So maybe, just maybe, if I can hide my identity long enough, I'll survive. But it might take a little distraction to accomplish. The thing is, I don't think I mind distracting four hard-as-stone gargoyles who can't stop staring.

Before a surfing accident caused 33-year-old Devon Raney to lose all but 15 percent of his vision, he had already lived an extraordinary life. Time and again, he'd gone against the grain to maximize time for his passions - surfing, skateboarding, and snowboarding - bringing him into the direct path of colorful characters, unexpected adventures, and even the occasional brush with death. Through it all, Devon's commitment to outdoor adventure never wavered.

Innocence is lost to unforgettable experience in these brilliant stories by E. L. Doctorow, as full of mystery and meaning as any of the longer works by this American master. In "The Writer in the Family", a young man learns the difference between lying and literature after he is induced into deceiving a relative through letters. In "Wili", an early-20th-century idyll is destroyed by infidelity. In "The Foreign Legation", a girl and an act of political anarchy collide with devastating results. These and other stories flow into the novella "Lives of the Poets".

It's Halloween night, and Phineas and Ferb have completely transformed their backyard into a giant corn maze. But little do they know that the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz has created a giant monster to destroy their town! And when the monster heads for Phineas and Ferb's house, will Perry the Platypus be able to save the day?

Leo and Remi have saved the wacky, wonderful Whippet Hotel, but their adventures aren't over. Anything is possible on the field of wacky inventions: some are scary (like a genetically altered twelve-foot chicken); some are dangerous (like a pond full of electric eels); some are completely out of control; and somehow, Leo and Remi will take it all in stride.

Secret agents are all Jack and his friends ever wanted to be. Spy adventures were the movies they watched, the books they read, and even the games they played. Playtime is over! Kelly, a political refugee and friend of Jack's sister, is targeted for revenge by the man her father sent to prison. Armed with nothing but heroic courage and skills born from their childhood dreams, Jack and his friends fight a battle against an enemy who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. If Jack is to survive, he and his friends must work as a team, and even then, winning comes at a terrible price.

The Tragedy Paper follows the story of Tim Macbeth, a seventeen-year-old albino and a recent transfer to the prestigious Irving School, where the motto is “Enter here to be and find a friend.” A friend is the last thing Tim expects or wants - he just hopes to get through his senior year unnoticed. Yet, despite his efforts to blend into the background, he finds himself falling for the quintessential “It” girl, Vanessa Sheller, girlfriend of Irving’s most popular boy. To Tim's surprise, Vanessa is into him, too, but she can kiss her social status goodbye if anyone ever finds out.

What would you pay to cure your heartbreak? Banish your sadness? Transform your looks? The right spell can fix anything. When Ari's boyfriend, Win, dies, she gets a spell to erase all memory of him. But spells come at a cost, and this one sets off a chain of events that reveal the hidden - and sometimes dangerous - connections between Ari, her friends, and the boyfriend she can no longer remember.

Prince Kreon, enforcing an arbitrary mandate, is enraged that Antigone would abide by a natural law of sisterly respect in contradiction of his will. As neither can be reconciled with the other's acts, the drama grows devoutly tenebrous. This translation is iambic, as is most of the text in Greek.

When 13-year-olds Aaron and Audrey meet at a wilderness camp in the desert, they think their quirks are enough to prevent them from ever having friends. But as they trek through the challenging and unforgiving landscape, they learn that they each have what it takes to make the other whole.

Why, why are grownups so insane? That’s exactly the question that Norman, Anna and Emma (the twins), and I, Leonard, try to answer. And with the help of Norman’s new tutor, Balthazar Birdsong (also fairly nuts), we nearly do it, too. No, seriously!

Discover what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in the New York Times bestselling, award-winning Mr. Lemoncello’s Library series!

Discover what James Patterson calls “the coolest library in the world” in the New York Times bestselling, award-winning Mr. Lemoncello’s Library series!

When Sir Sidney, a kindly old circus owner, becomes too tired to travel with his show, he places a Help Wanted ad in the newspaper. Enter Barnabas Brambles: "I have a degree in lion taming from the University of Piccadilly Circus." But does Leo the lion need taming? Will Elsa the elephant still get her gourmet peanuts? And what will Brambles say when he discovers Bert and Gert - two mice who travel with the circus on popcorn cleanup patrol?