The first book to read to heal or to support someone

Just finished and sat here with a box of tissues. If you have survived narcissistic abuse or are supporting someone who has, I am convinced this is the first book to read. It explains, with great compassion, how a person with NPD becomes the way they are and why they treat their children, grandchildren or partners the way they do.

A narcissist causes significant harm to others and we know they do so with intent, because they know to hide it (and they do) and they don’t treat everyone the same. They can stop and won’t. It’s not that they don’t love one person and do another. They can’t love anyone in the way healthy people do. People are placeholders for the things they believe about themselves.

This book crucially explains why, when you finally understand how damaging the abuse is to you and any children you have, perhaps through long term therapy whilst still in regular contact, you won’t always have your family of birth around you to support you and yours through recovery from the abuse. You won’t be alone though. There are safe spaces, where you will grow new life.

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Wow, what a book.

This is a hard read if you’ve suffered from parental narcissistic abuse. It’s eye opening, heartbreaking and brings to the front all kinds of emotions. I’ve sobbed listening to it & also raged with anger at the memories listening to this book has brought back. This book is a must listen for anyone who wants to heal and grow after suffering narcissistic abuse.

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The compassion inherent in every chapter. The practical help.

I didn't dislike it. I wish there was more to honest. I'm going to have to listen again to take it all in.

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Finally someone understands

From the very first chapter of this book I have felt like I am not alone in my feelings. I finally feel like someone understands me and now I understand it really wasn’t my fault. What I experienced growing up is not how it’s supposed to be.

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Validation at last!

An essential read for anyone that grew up in a toxic family dynamic or with an emotionally abusive parent. The podcast is brilliant too.

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A very useful, clear and concise book about the experience of being with a narcissist

A really helpful and concise book on the subject of narcissm, it helps explain how it works and the fall out of experiencing the person with the traits, which can often be confusing and not clear.

The book isn't there to diagnose, no book can do that. It does clearly explain the traits and from that you can make your own mind up, but the idea isn't about blame or condemning anyone it's about understanding where you are as someone who experienced some or all of the traits and how to begin to unpick where you are and begin to point yourself in the right direction and suggests tips and ideas on keeping yourself safe from further emotional damage.

I'd recommend this book to anyone who wanted to find out more on the subject, be that as a complete beginner or further down the line in your understanding. I've had some previous awareness and knowledge and I have learned more listening to this. The narrators are easy to listen to and make things clear, but I know I will need to listen a few times to pick everything up as there is a lot of information here!

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Eye opening!

I started listening to this expecting to learn about why people might behave they way they do, I did not expect that it would make me see so many people in my life as victims from so many different angles. Who knew there were so many roles in a narcissistic family group.

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Next level!

I thought the podcast and patreon were brilliant, but this book takes recovery to a whole new level. So pleased with this purchase! Highly recommended to anyone that suspects they have experienced narcissistic abuse or want to understand and help someone who has gone through it.

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AFTER NEARLY 60 YEARS

I just can’t thank Helen and Katie enough this book is quite frankly life changing - everything I experienced from both my parents as a child was not normal and impacted me , and continues to impact me daily . It has been a highly emotional @raw read “ but I now completely understand that It wasn’t my fault and I’m beginning to know I am a good, kind empathetic person - thank you to all concerned from the bottom of my heart ❤️

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The BEST book on the subject I've ever read.

I LOVE this book! I love it so much I've ordered a hard copy too, and I've never done that before. Helen and Katie do such an excellent job of explaining how and why things happen in relationships with narcissistic types of people, particularly parents (my situation), and they include loads of things I've never heard in books before that describe my own experiences (and I've read a lot of books on the subject). "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Dr Lindsay Gibson was my favourite book on the subject until now, but I think "You're not the problem" is even better. Like my title says, this is the best book on the subject I've ever read.

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