Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Award-winning podcast for parents of teens and tweens.

By: Rachel Richards and Susie Asli
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  • Summary

  • Welcome to your weekly audio hug for parents going through the teen and tween years. I'm Rachel Richards, journalist, parenting coach, mother of two teenagers and two bonus daughters.

    I designed this audio hug to empower you by helping calm your fears, giving you a chance to learn from the mistakes of other parents, and grow in confidence in your role.

    When I was coaching parents for Parent Gym I realised how powerful it is to be in a room with other parents who're honest about the challenges they're facing. It takes away the judgement and makes it more possible to open up to ways in which we can change for the better.

    Whilst we can't all be in the same room together, I've tried to make this the next best thing. I take questions from listeners, or my own problems, and do lots of research into what the experts say. Then Susie brings her wealth of expertise in mindfulness to discuss the realities of parenting.

    It may look like other parents are perfect but even experts make mistakes, because good parenting is a constantly evolving challenge. In all the research I've done the most important thing we can do is focus on building our connection by being more curious and less critical of both our kids and ourselves. Admitting our mistakes isn't failure, it's growth.

    What the Independent Podcasting Award judges said:
    'The advice within the podcast on how to deal with what life throws at you is universally helpful, not just for those with teenagers.'

    'A good mix of personal stories alongside professional insight; it's addressing something different, and helps its audience with the references and extra information provided in episode notes.'

    'The rapport between the hosts, Rachel and Susie, is great with a good mix of them chatting, but also providing context for the listener and remembering them within the conversation.'

    For more discussion and tips, you can find us on Facebook and Instagram. Find courses with Susie at https://www.amindful-life.co.uk/
    © 2024 Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Award-winning podcast for parents of teens and tweens.
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Episodes
  • 111: Boundaries: Your family training-ground

    111: Boundaries: Your family training-ground
    Oct 30 2024

    Send us a text

    Boundaries exist, regardless of whether we're conscious of them or not. The first place we experience them is in our own home, and the way they are created, managed and enforced can set us up for a lifetime of healthy relationships, or difficulty coping with other humans.

    In this episode Susie and I discuss what a boundary is, how we uncover our own boundaries and create and uphold healthy ones within our own families.

    It's a fascinating area for us parents who were raised in an era where the term barely existed, and the mental health issues that come with poor boundaries went unacknowledged.

    We'd love to hear your feedback, ideas and questions. Email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com or send a text using the button at the top of the podcast notes.

    SOURCES:

    • https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/teens-health-boundaries/#:~:text=Healthy%20boundaries%20support%20adolescents'%20ability,and%20sometimes%20verbally%20as%20well.
    • https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries#10-tips
    • https://www.verywellhealth.com/setting-boundaries-5208802

    Boundary Exercises from verywellhealth

    When you set boundaries, you're communicating to others how you want and expect to be treated. Here are a few exercises that can help when you feel tongue-tied:

    Use "I" statements:

    • I feel ______ when _____ is said to me.
    • When this happens______, I feel_____.

    When you feel disrespected:

    • I don't like the way I'm being spoken to right now.
    • I would like to talk about this but now is not the right time.
    • I would prefer to discuss this when we can be calmer about it.

    Buy yourself some time:

    • I'm not sure right now. Can I come to you once I've thought about it?
    • I need more time to think, but I will get back to you.

    When you want to say "no" with a little more explanation:

    • I would love to, but my plate is really full right now.
    • I would if I could, but I'm unable to help with that right now.
    • I really appreciate the invitation, but I'm not interested in participating.

    Seeking consent with sexual boundaries:

    • Are you okay with this?
    • Do you want to continue?
    • Are you comfortable if I____?

    email: teenagersuntangled@gmail.com

    Support the show

    Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

    I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

    My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
    www.teenagersuntangled.com
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
    Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

    Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
    www.amindful-life.co.uk
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    39 mins
  • Motivation: How to motivate your teenager and why blame and shame doesn't work.

    Motivation: How to motivate your teenager and why blame and shame doesn't work.
    Oct 23 2024

    Send us a text

    When kids hit puberty they become driven by a core motivation that many of us adults don't understand. No, it's not fun, or sex; they're looking for experiences that give them social status and respect.

    According to David Yeager, author of 10-25, a societal belief that teens and young adults are lazy and incompetent causes us to misunderstand the power of this motivator. When parents, teachers and employers get it wrong they try to use either an enforcer mindset - yelling telling, blaming and shaming - or a protector mindset such as bribes and lowered expectations.

    In his book, Yeager, a reknowned developmental psychologist, tells stories and gives concrete explanations for why the the science of motivating young people shows we can harness their drive for social status and a growth mindset, to motivate any young person to achieve their best.

    BOOK:
    10-25: The Science of Motivating Young People

    DAVID YEAGER: Author/Professor/Scientist
    yeagerds@austin.utexas.edu

    Support the show

    Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

    I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

    My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
    www.teenagersuntangled.com
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
    Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

    Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
    www.amindful-life.co.uk
    Show More Show Less
    53 mins

What listeners say about Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Award-winning podcast for parents of teens and tweens.

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Profile Image for Jess Jones

This is just what I needed today!

Absolutely loved this. I'm a MH social worker, have worked alongside psychiatrists and psychologists for 20 years and think I'm pretty skilled... Then, daughter goes to high school and WHAM, this is a whole new world of chaos and I've been reading, researching and scrolling and today, found this and oh my, this has hit the nail on the head! I feel like I have so much more clarity now and therefore am able to help my daughter through this turbulent time. Brilliant, just brilliant, will be listening to all the episodes and waiting for more. Thank you 🙏

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Research-led Practical Advice for Parents

An invaluable resource for anyone struggling with the challenges of parenting teenagers in these rapidly changing times

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Invaluable for parents of teens

Such a great source of advice - I often find myself nodding along and thinking - yes, you get it! I’d recommend it to anyone parenting teens.

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Profile Image for H8LDE

Thank you 🙏

Thank you to you both. At last I’ve found someone/something to listen to, relate to and be reassured by. Parenting my 12 and 14 year olds is wonderful but also has its difficulties and I’m left feeling drained and confused as to whether I’m actually doing it all ok for them? I thought the episodes regarding screen time and grooming were spot on and informative. I’m actually going to get them both to listen to them with me when we do a longer car journey so they can hear first hand why I put in place restrictions myself. They often make me feel like I’m over the top and too over protective. You have reassured me I’m doing ok. Thank you girls from a very grateful mummy who is also learning on the job and winging it every day! 😊 xx

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