Reading and Readers

By: Terence Tan
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  • A podcast where I review Christian books for you. Whether it's a commentary or a children's story, from Christology to eschatology, the Reading and Readers Podcast has a book for you.
    Terence Tan
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Art Christianity Literary History & Criticism Spirituality
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Episodes
  • What Grieving People Wish You Knew About What Really Helps (and What Really Doesn’t) by Nancy Guthrie

    What Grieving People Wish You Knew About What Really Helps (and What Really Doesn’t) by Nancy Guthrie
    Oct 27 2024
    What can you say to those who grieve? What can you do for those who have lost a loved one? How can you do all that without coming off as an insensitive oaf? If only they would tell us how to comfort them.Hi, my name is Terence, and I’m your host for Reading and Readers, a podcast where I review books for you. Today, I review “What Grieving People Wish You Knew About What Really Helps (and What Really Doesn’t)” by Nancy Guthrie. One hundred ninety-two pages, published by Crossway in September 2016. Available in Amazon Kindle for USD 9.97 and in Logos for USD 12.98.## Grieving Mother and FriendsNancy Guthrie has published ten books on Bible studies, six on Grief and Suffering, nine devotionals and many more. In today’s book, she writes as a mother who has grieved for two children, Hope and Gabriel. Both were born with a rare genetic disorder, Zellweger Syndrome, and only lived for six months.She is acquainted with grief and with others who grieve. She introduces us to the GriefShare ministry, I quote:> When your friend attends a GriefShare group, he or she will be surrounded by others who are working their way through grief too — people who understand the tears and fears, the angst and anger, the questions and frustrations of grief. It can be such an unexpected and welcome relief just to be surrounded by people who get it.GriefShare facilitators and members are prominently featured in the book. You can almost consider them co-authors or Guthrie, a curator.This comes across as a writing project from the community of the grieving who want everybody outside this circle to know how to walk alongside them. They have been helped. They have been hurt. And this is their collected wisdom. So, let me start by telling you two ways I got grief wrong.## Call Me If You Need AnythingFirst, I thought it was good of me to say, “Just call me if you need anything.”Then I read this:> I will never forget the line of people at the cemetery. They passed by hugging my mother and all seven of my siblings as we put Daddy in the ground. All the words blur together, except that they would be there for us. I remember wondering what they meant. The following spring, after Daddy was buried, one neighbor drove up our mile drive and asked what he could do. Any fences need fixing? Any chores the boys need help with? He just came. Every time he came I remember thinking about that line of people at the graveside. They were loving people who meant well. This man did well. He just came. I don’t remember if he ever actually had to do anything. But he came and offered his strength to help. I reflected on this, and I realised that while I was sincere in my offer to help -- if I got the call, I would have dropped everything to help -- I also realised that when I gave that offer, I thought I had already done my part, my job. Now, it was up to them to take up my offer. By giving up the initiative, I was off the hook. By passing the initiative to them, I was passing on the burden to them of asking for help.## Click to Like My GriefAnother thing I got wrong is about grief on social media. I was surprised to find a whole chapter on this.When I see someone share their grief online, I don’t usually comment or like the post. If it’s a person I know well enough, I would write a personal message.My reason is:1. If I am not close to the person, I think it’s hypocritical to show up to make a quick comment or click on a sad emoji.2. I see social media as a frivolous medium. People are flippant and shallow on social media, but grief deserves a more solemn medium.3. When I make a public comment or post on social media, I realise that I write not just to my friends but also to everybody else. So, this sense of performing for onlookers seems wrong when dealing with a tremendous personal loss.4. I am a private man and not the type to express my grief publicly. So, when I refrain from responding to social media posts, I am applying the golden rule: I am treating others as I would like to be treated.After reading this chapter, I realised it’s not about me; it’s about the one who has suffered loss. Love is also treating others how they would like to be treated.They have already made their grief public. That gives permission to everyone to respond publicly; that is an invitation to acknowledge their grief with a click or a comment. She writes:> to neglect or refuse to comment on a post by a friend who has poured out his or her sadness on Facebook is to see their great sorrow and look the other way.And if I excuse myself because I'm not their close friend, that's convenient because I don't have any close friends, I'm joking, I do have friends, close enough I think. Anyways, I was surprised to repeatedly read how close friends were disappointments and strangers became treasures. We don't need to be close to care, just as the Samaritan man didn't have a checklist before he decided to help people.## Everything is WrongI learnt many things...
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    24 mins
  • Married for God by Christopher Ash

    Married for God by Christopher Ash
    Oct 13 2024
    In the past, many got married for sex and thus for personal fulfillment. Nowadays, many don’t see a need to get married to get sex. Yet, whether married or not, people were not being personally fulfilled. How do marriage, sex, and personal fulfillment come together, if at all?Hi, my name is Terence, and I'm your host for Reading and Readers, a podcast where I review Christian books for you. Today I review “Married for God: Making Your Marriage the Best It Can Be” by Christopher Ash. 176 pages, published by Crossway in August 2016. Available via Amazon Kindle for USD10.16 and via Logos for USD10.79.Christopher Ash is Writer-in-Residence at Tyndale House in Cambridge. He is a full-time preacher, pastor, teacher, and writer. According to Amazon, he has 40 titles and there is one tantalising title I would like to read, “The Book Your Pastor Wishes You Would Read (but is too embarrassed to ask)”. But that is a book for another day.Today I review Ash's book on marriage.Anyone who intends to get married should go for a pre-marriage counselling course. I say this even to non-Christians. And if you are reluctant to sit down with a pastor, you should get a book to go through together.Marriages include arguments. I could also say many marriages end with arguments. The tragedy is some of those arguments could have been avoided. When one says, “My dream is to have children.” And the other shocked says, “But dear, I don’t intend to have children.” This is a conversation they should have had before they got married.For Christians such conversations is ever more important because God does not approve of divorces. If the marriage is not working, the biblical answer is: make it work.Today's book is not just helpful for those about to get married.If you have been married long, this book will strengthen your marriage.Bizarrely, if you are single, this book will also strengthen your single life. More on that later.Let's open the book.In the introduction, the fundamental statement put to us is:> We ought to want what God wants in marriage.Ash later on continues:> ... when we ask what God wants, we are asking what is best for us. What is best for us is not what we want, but what he wants. When I ask what God wants for marriage, I am saying that I want my marriage to cut with the grain of the universe.Wow. Your love for one another, this private connection between a man and a woman is part of a cosmic design.If you have never considered marriage in that light, there is more to come. In fact whatever you think marriage is, put that aside. Make a commitment to hear from God first. So if whatever God says goes against what you think marriage is about, go with God. This is how Ash ends the introduction chapter, with a call to repentance.## Baggage and GraceBut what happens if God, who is awesome and holy, wants what I don't want? What if, in the light of his holiness, he exposes me? The part I have kept hidden from family and friends, and frankly, intended to keep hidden from my future spouse?And so Christopher Ash, theologian and pastor, right at the start has a chapter titled, “A Word about Baggage and Grace”. I will just read the section headings and you will see why you need not fear God's will for you.1. The Bible Speaks to Those Whose Sexual Pasts Are Spoiled2. Jesus Christ Offers Forgiveness and Restoration To Those With Spoiled Sexual Pasts3. God’s Grace Enables Us to Live Lives of PurityThe chapter ends with six questions and discussion points. Let me read question 4.Question 4:> If you are (or may one day be) married, what kind of “baggage” do you think you bring into marriage, in your thinking and expectations?If you are reading this book on your own, that is great for your self-reflection, but what about your fiance? The temptation here is to think he or she doesn’t need to know your past. But your past, whether you want to or not, in one way or another, will affect the marriage.But if you share your deepest darkest secrets, what happens if your fiance cancels the wedding? Or what if one day she takes this painful part of your life and throws it in your face?The fear bubbles up and chokes, and tempts you to do what you have always done. Hide."Hahhaha... question 4 is asking about baggage? I guess my baggage is I once forgot my baggage at the airport."The couple laughs. Love makes lame jokes funny. Quick! Let's read the next chapter before something ruins the moment.It takes courage to answer soul-baring questions. It takes wisdom to navigate this treacherous waters, which is why I encourage couples to invite their pastor into pre-marriage discussions.A good and experienced pastor will establish a safe space and frame the discussion to ensure that the couple does not dwell on the baggages but eventually move on to the next part: what comes after question 4, I quote:> Pause to bring this “baggage” quietly before God. Pray through the truth of grace in this chapter and ask God to put ...
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    25 mins
  • How to Think Theologically by Howard Stone and James Duke

    How to Think Theologically by Howard Stone and James Duke
    Sep 29 2024
    Everyone wants to know how to make money, how to lose weight, how to make friends and influence people. But before all that, more importantly, the first thing we got to know is how to think -- and as people who live our lives before God -- specifically, it is knowing how to think theologically.Hi, my name is Terence and I’m your host for Reading and Readers, a podcast where I review Christian books for you. Today I review “How to Think Theologically” by Howard W. Stone and James O. Duke. 142 pages, published by Fortress Press in 2006. 2006 is the second edition. The fourth edition, published in 2023 is available in Amazon Kindle for USD14.99.Reviewing the 2nd not the 4th EditionWhy am I reviewing the 2nd edition and not the 4th edition? Because I got the 2nd edition for free. Even though I was not reviewing books for the past 6 months, I still made sure to get the Logos free book of the month. For June, the free book was “How to Think Theologically”.You might be wondering whether it’s worth listening to a review of the second edition when, if you do read the book you would get the latest edition. In any case, my review is still helpful in your buying, reading, decision.First, whatever is good in the 2nd edition will be in the 4th edition. That is why there is a 4th edition.Second, when you hear all the good things I have to say about today’s book, you might resolve, like I have, to never miss a free book deal. And if you did get the Logos free book for June, this review might just persuade you to read it.I Could Not Help You... Until TodayThe book resonates with me because it describes the one thing I have been trying to excel in all these years.When I was a young Christian I did not know what thinking theologically meant. I knew it was imperative for us to think biblically but what does that mean?I only understood after I read books like Don Carson’s “Showing the Spirit”, a commentary on 1 Corinthian 12-14. That book fundamentally transformed my thinking process.Now, many good books later, I try to bring the Bible to bear in everything, to understand God and his work in myself, the people around me and the world across space and time.If you ask me, “Terence, I want to learn how to think theologically too, can you help? Can you do what you do best and recommend a book?”A few weeks ago, my answer would be, “I wish I had a simple guide for you. Everything I practise, I learnt it the hard way through many books, by many writers, on many diverse issues, over many years. You could read Don Carson’s book but you would learn by observing the master. The master is not explaining what or why or how. He is busy doing the thinking through the Bible on the topic. In Don Carson’s case, thinking through 1 Cor 12-14 on the topic of the Holy Spirit. I wish I have that one book to recommend to you.”And today, I have!Buy this book. Read this book: “How to Think Theologically” by Howard W. Stone and James O. Duke.Dynamic DuoHoward Stone is a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, theologian ,and professor emeritus at Texas Christian University. James Duke is Professor of the History of Christianity and the History of Christian Thought at Brite Divinity School.They have put together this concise how-to guide for Christians who never knew they were theologians and don’t know where to start.So let me share my thoughts on the book.Embedded vs. DeliberativeFirst, I found the distinction between embedded theology and deliberative theology to be immensely helpful.This is the way I understand it. Embedded theology is what you grew up with in church; it's the air you breath. It's instinct, reflex, it's how you do the faith.Deliberative theology is questioning your growing up years; it's putting the air you breath into a mass spectrometer. It's inquisitive, reflective, it's asking why you do faith in this way and not that.Deliberative theology is the theology I tend to force unto the people around me. Embedded theology is what they wish we could all do instead.When we make a distinction, we are drawing a line, we are pointing out differences. Sometimes, often times, that leads to quarrels. Other times, making that distinction helps people to reconcile.We recognise that embedded theology is what everyone practises and it is good enough until it isn't. And then deliberative theology becomes necessary. Christians who are able to do deliberative theology within the faith are less likely to deconstruct themselves out of the faith.They are more equipped to handle crisis. In this book, the authors use many real world examples. But two stick out the most.First is the Great Hymnal Controversy. The church wrestles with whether to buy new and different hymnbooks to replace the ones falling to pieces. You can replace this controversy with the one you have in your church.The second crisis moves away from the religious assembly to the personal home. Tom’s mother has terminal cancer and the doctor ...
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    30 mins

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