Let’s talk about something that we all grapple with but don’t always acknowledge—control.

Yeah, that word might hit you in different ways depending on how you see it. For some, control sounds like a bad thing, a power trip, or even manipulation. But for others, it's a way to bring order, efficiency, and clarity into their lives.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, especially after someone once called me a “control freak.” I was offended, and I bet you would be too. But the more I dug into it, the more I realized control isn’t all bad. In fact, it’s something we all do, whether we like to admit it or not. And guess what? It can be a force for good, not just for us, but for the people around us.

Imagine walking into a restaurant and being genuinely nice to your server. What happens? They’re likely to respond with the same kindness, right? In that moment, you're controlling the interaction in a positive way. It’s not manipulative; it’s human nature.

The way we act can directly influence how others behave. That’s control, but it’s also compassion, connection, and confidence in action.

Control isn’t the enemy—it’s a tool— and in this episode of Real Confidence I’m going to show you how it’s a force for good. And when you know how to do that, you’ll want to let your control freak flag fly!

Let me tell you—I just had one of the most eye-opening, liberating conversations with the incredible Mervyn Reid-Nelson, founder of You at Yours, Boudoir & BODY CONFIDENCE Photography studio in London. Our conversation was a wild ride through the world of photography, body image, and how stepping in front of the camera can be a powerful journey toward self-love and confidence.

Merv's approach is unlike anything you've ever heard before. It's not just about snapping pretty pictures; it's about creating an experience that helps you tap into the most authentic version of yourself. We took a deep dive into the psychology behind why photos of ourselves can make us feel so vulnerable and how Merv's unique method flips the script, turning a simple photo session into a life-changing rollercoaster of emotions.

Highlights from our chat include:

• Why the journey of being photographed can be more empowering than the final image itself.
• How Merv helps clients, particularly women, regain confidence in their bodies—sometimes by going completely nude!
• The reasons your most authentic, unposed moments make the best photos (how to channel your true feelings to light up any image)
• Why seeing your photos for the first time can be nerve-wracking; and
• Merv’s expert tips on how to prepare for any photo op by tapping into real emotions—whether you're in front of a professional lens or just snapping a selfie.

This episode left me buzzing with excitement—and maybe even a little nervous energy—because it reminded me that confidence isn't about perfection; it’s about embracing who we are in our most raw, real moments.

Trust me, after listening to this, you might just find yourself booking a flight to do a shoot with Merv—or at least looking at your next headshot session with a brand-new perspective.

Tune in now, and let’s get you feeling photo-fabulous!

Want to learn more about Merv’s work? Find him on Instagram at or visit his website youatyours.com.

We’ve all been there—caught off guard by the presence of someone we perceive as powerful or important, and suddenly feeling small or unsure. Whether it’s a senior leader at work, a celebrity, or even a family member, that sense of intimidation is real. But here’s the kicker: no matter how polished or accomplished they appear, they’re human too. They wake up, get dressed, and face insecurities just like the rest of us. In fact, many of them feel just as nervous in unfamiliar situations as we do. Understanding this can shift your perspective and help you approach these encounters with a bit more confidence.

Often the most accomplished people only within their "zone of competence." Take them out of that comfort zone—maybe into a social setting or a new activity—and they can feel just as nervous as anyone else. The difference? They’ve learned to mask it well. But knowing this can help you realize that confidence isn’t a constant state—it fluctuates based on the situation.

And guess what? That’s totally normal.

But adapting to a situation where you feel not-as-good-as isn’t just about recognizing that everyone else is human; it’s about how you engage with them, too.

In this episode of Real Confidence I share some simple strategies that work wonders to level the perceived playing field and position yourself as someone who’s confident and resourceful. It’s a subtle yet powerful way to build a connection and remind yourself—and them—that just like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You’re unique, just like everyone else."

I’ve seen this approach work time and time again, and I’m excited to hear how it goes for you. Don’t forget to share your experiences, and let’s continue to bring more confidence into the world, one bold move at a time!