Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

By: A.J. Mahari
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  • Summary

  • A.J. Mahari is a Counselor and Trauma Recovery Coach who has 34 years experience working with those surviving Borderline Personality Relationship Breakups in all relationship types, healing from codependency, Inner Child Healing, Family of Origin and Self Differentiation, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and much more.
    A.J. Mahari
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Psychology Hygiene & Healthy Living Social Sciences Personal Success Relationships
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Episodes
  • BPD NPD Who is The Person Behind The Idealization & Love Bombing?

    BPD NPD Who is The Person Behind The Idealization & Love Bombing?
    Aug 25 2024
    BPD NPD Who is The Person Behind The Idealization & Love Bombing?

    So many people who have been in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD with Co-Morbid Narcissistic Personality Disorder are caught in a trauma bond ruminating and trying to figure out who is the person behind the idealization and love bombing when there isn't a "real person" inside at all, only a false self.

    The intermittent reinforcement within the trauma bond with someone with BPD or BPD/NPD keeps Codependents stuck in circles of (often misinformation) trying to give their own explanations or
    offer up erroneous ones or misinterpretations taken from perhaps listening to or reading too many contradictory sources online.

    The person you fell in love with doesn't exist. The person behind the idealization and the love bombing is the false self that protects the lost self in Borderlines and Narcissists.

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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    23 mins
  • BPD Breakup or Discard Identify Your Codependent Part of The Dynamic To Heal

    BPD Breakup or Discard Identify Your Codependent Part of The Dynamic To Heal
    Aug 8 2024
    BPD Breakup or Discard Identify Your Codependent Part of The Dynamic To Heal

    BPD Breakup or discard is so painful and so confusing for so many people
    who have, but may not realize it, Codependency. Getting into therapy and
    going no contact is the way to identify your codependent part in the dynamic
    and to heal. Choose to no longer stay stuck in excessive obsessive focus on
    the Borderline and what they did, why they did it because that focus will
    keep the trauma bond in tact. You need to break that betrayal bond in order
    to heal.

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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    47 mins
  • Quiet Borderline Inner Persecution and Codependent Reactionary Projection

    Quiet Borderline Inner Persecution and Codependent Reactionary Projection
    Aug 4 2024
    Quiet Borderline Inner Persecution and Codependent Reactionary Projection

    People who are Quiet Borderlines, the Discouraged sub-type of BPD, when triggered
    have a fawn/freeze response. They withdraw. You can't pull words out of them. They
    don't hear you. They may take space, or ghost you in a patterned way, and you don't
    get it. You are trying to understand what the quiet borderline is doing. Many with
    Codependency think that it is the Quiet Borderline creating conflict when very often
    that's not the case. They are re-experiencing "lack of self" as the introjected
    persecutory object they were to a parent. People with Codependency need to understand
    your (often unconscious) reactionary projection about a significant part of the conflict
    that you experience and think is all coming from the person with Quiet BPD. Codependents
    will benefit from stopping their own repetition compulsion of pursuit of a Quiet Borderline
    who is deep inside re-experiencing inner persecution - they take on the role of the
    wounding parent or parents and that's not seeking conflict or any type of fight/flight.

    https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
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    36 mins

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Profile Image for Steven J.

Thanks very helpful

Thanks very good information,so helpful in understanding all this. Helping me make sense of all this

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Profile Image for Fern

Really helpful

Very helpful - honest and realistic therapy. It reminds the listener to think of themselves not the bpd!

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