Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

• I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and my husband is in a Seven Pillars group. We are working through this painful process. I’m curious about what specifically men are seeking out that they are not being provided with by their partners? Are we talking about specific acts, positions, role playing? I would love to understand what makes pornography better than me.
• Part of my addicted spouse’s acting out is using me for sex. When it appears he’s doing work, and sex is back in the picture, he goes to cruise control and stops doing his recovery work. Then I feel unsafe and uncared for and used, and he gets upset, and the cycle starts all over again. What would you advise?
• Although my husband is not engaging in porn or masturbation, he does engage in “flashes” and fantasy while having sex with me. He says this is not breaking his sobriety, and according to our counselor it is. I feel violated, used, and betrayed. Can you help me understand more about the issues of “flashes” and fantasy?

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

• When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this?
• How do I deal with my husband not being sexually interested in me?
• My husband is doing well with his recovery, but I can't get past feeling violated and having attacks on my mind during sex. What should I do?

Pure Desire Podcast For Sex During Recovery

Peace Beyond The Tears

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

• I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone?
• For me to feel safe and start rebuilding trust, I’ve asked to see my husband’s emails, but he refuses. He won’t join a men’s recovery group. I don’t know how to deal with this. Am I being unreasonable? I keep thinking something else is coming.
• After years of deception, affairs, porn use, and who knows what, I finally had my breaking point. He was willing to walk away rather than work through it. He could never tell me why. I struggle every day with the why's… And I struggle in support groups because so many are still together, working through it together. Is there such a thing as unresolved betrayal trauma? How do I heal without all the answers?

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

• As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?
• Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?
• How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys, but girls struggle too)

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

• As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?
• Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?
• How can I help my kids who struggle?

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

• If we struggle with addictions, why can’t we just quit cold-turkey?
• How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors?
• How can the Three Circles tool help?

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Three Circles Tool

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Follow us on X (Twitter)

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

• I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now?
• If I’m a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help?
• What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's their own sexual struggles or betrayal from someone else?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

• I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor?
• Who do I tell about my relapse?
• What tools can I use to get back to restoration?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org or simply reply to this email. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Full Episode On Youtube

(All tools are free on our website - https://puredesire.org/tools/ )

FASTER Scale

Crash Site Analysis

Recovery Action Plan

Three Circles

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)