Showing results by author "Jeff Strand" in All Categories
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Candy Coated Madness
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!
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Candy Coated Madness
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Release date: 25-05-21
- Language: English
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Regular price: £14.99 or 1 Credit
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Bang Up
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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"You want to pay me to sleep with your wife?" Kirk is extremely surprised by Ralph's proposition. He's even more surprised by the next part: Kirk is supposed to perform badly, to make Ralph look good by comparison. And Julie isn't supposed to know that any of this was planned. It's the kind of offer any smart, sane person would turn down. But this is not a book about smart, sane people. This is "bad decisions spiral out of control" all the way. From the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of Pressure and Dweller comes something lighter, goofier, and way smuttier.
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Bang Up
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Release date: 04-08-22
- Language: English
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Regular price: £11.99 or 1 Credit
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Clowns vs. Spiders
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers, are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore. Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. But millions of oversized spiders are about to invade....
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very different I personally was disappointed
- By Kotters on 17-02-20
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Clowns vs. Spiders
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Release date: 31-12-19
- Language: English
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Regular price: £12.99 or 1 Credit
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Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go)
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 5
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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As a stay-at-home dad taking care of triplets, Andrew Mayhem's days of getting into wild adventures are over. His life is measured in diaper changes. Sleep has become an abstract concept, something oft-discussed with his wife, Helen, but rarely experienced. So, when internet celebrity explorer Percival Longshore asks Andrew and his best friend, Roger, to travel with him on a good old-fashioned treasure hunt, Andrew laughs off the idea.
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Cemetery Closing (Everything Must Go)
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 5
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Series: Andrew Mayhem, Book 5
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Release date: 20-07-21
- Language: English
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Regular price: £11.99 or 1 Credit
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Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to "Shirley")
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 4
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job. One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer".
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Lost Homicidal Maniac (Answers to "Shirley")
- An Andrew Mayhem Thriller, Book 4
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Series: Andrew Mayhem, Book 4
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Release date: 07-07-21
- Language: English
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Regular price: £14.99 or 1 Credit
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Stranger Things Have Happened
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Harry Houdini. Penn and Teller. David Copperfield. Marcus Millian the Third. Okay, so Marcus isn't a famous magician. He may not even be a great magician. But his great-grandfather, the once-legendary and long-retired Zachary the Stupendous, insists Marcus has true talent. And when Grandpa Zachary boasts that he and Marcus are working on an illusion that will shock, stun, and astonish, Marcus wishes he could make himself disappear.
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Stranger Things Have Happened
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Release date: 30-06-17
- Language: English
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Regular price: £20.99 or 1 Credit
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Bring Her Back
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Henry Schrader
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Frank knows that he's creepy. There's nothing he can do about it. His creepiness - along with the fact that his father once killed 11 people in an office shooting - has kept him from ever having a girlfriend. When he finally works up the nerve to ask Abigail out on a date, after buying flowers from her every day for the past three months, he's sure she'll say no. But she accepts. These two kindhearted but weird souls have found each other, and Frank thinks his life is about to change for the better. But this is not a love story. This is a tale of revenge and madness.
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Bring Her Back
- Narrated by: Henry Schrader
- Length: 6 hrs
- Release date: 20-01-21
- Language: English
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Suckers
- By: J. A. Konrath, Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 1 hr and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce. On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers. Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.
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Suckers
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Series: Andrew Mayhem, Book 4.5
- Length: 1 hr and 39 mins
- Release date: 09-08-11
- Language: English
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Regular price: £9.99 or 1 Credit
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Baker's Dozen
- By: Candace Nola, Jeff Strand, Christine Morgan, and others
- Narrated by: Jamison Walker
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Uncomfortably Dark presents...The Baker’s Dozen! Delicious dark delights for your horror consumption! Come indulge in the dark and disturbing with 13 tantalizing tales of terror written by an incredible lineup of independent horror authors. With stories ranging from delightful to disturbing, you are sure to find something to please your sweet spot. Authors include Jeff Strand, Christine Morgan, Ruthann Jagge, Aron Beauregard, Lee Franklin, Chris Miller, Patrick C. Harrison, III, Carver Pike, Kenzie Jennings, Daniel Volpe, Rowland Bercy, Jr., Candace Nola and M. Ennenbach.
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Baker's Dozen
- Narrated by: Jamison Walker
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Release date: 26-04-22
- Language: English
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Kumquat
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Thirty-five-year-old introvert Todd Bryan hasn't really done much with his life, and he's okay with that. Until, at a painfully bad film festival, he meets Amy Husk. She's attractive. She's funny. She's quirky. And...she has an inoperable brain aneurysm and not much time to live. She may not even make it to the long-awaited final episode of Exit Red, the greatest show ever. She convinces him that they should do something crazy and frivolous.
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Hilarious beyond belief!
- By Nick on 29-10-19
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Kumquat
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Release date: 07-03-17
- Language: English
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The Sinister Mr. Corpse
- A Zombie Comedy
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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This novel is the tale of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream. But in many ways, it’s harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. There’s constant pressure coming at him from all sides—not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy.
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The Sinister Mr. Corpse
- A Zombie Comedy
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Release date: 10-06-22
- Language: English
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Freaky Briefs
- 75 Short Absurdities
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs.
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Freaky Briefs
- 75 Short Absurdities
- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Release date: 23-12-22
- Language: English
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The Perfectly Fine Neighborhood
- By: Stephen Kozeniewski, Kayleigh Dobbs, Wile E. Young, and others
- Narrated by: Remy OBrien
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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For all of human history ghosts were real and they were everywhere. Then, one day, after a horrible cataclysm, they all disappeared. That was the story of THE PERFECTLY FINE HOUSE. But there are more tales to be told from that world.
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The Perfectly Fine Neighborhood
- Narrated by: Remy OBrien
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Release date: 24-01-24
- Language: English
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Along Comes Scary
- Rock & Roll Nightmares: '60s Edition Short Stories
- By: Staci Layne Wilson, Jeff Strand, Marco Mannone, and others
- Narrated by: Jennifer Knighton
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Tune in, turn on, and drop in to the rock 'n' roll rabbit hole! Along Comes Scary is set in an alternate spooky ’60s where vampires play screaming guitars, hell-bound hotrodders start a new trend on AM radio, and there are groupies who will do anything for a piece of their favorite band. Stories include "Papa’s Got a Brand-New Body Bag", "Hell-A Woman", and "She’s Got a Ticket to Die".
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Along Comes Scary
- Rock & Roll Nightmares: '60s Edition Short Stories
- Narrated by: Jennifer Knighton
- Series: Rock & Roll Nightmares, Book 1
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Release date: 15-09-21
- Language: English
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If I Die Before I Wake: Tales of Nightmare Creatures
- The Better Off Dead Series, Book 4
- By: R.E. Sargent, Steven Pajak, Jeff Strand, and others
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Razor-sharp teeth. Vicious claws. The soul-piercing eyes that stare you down right before it pounces. What will you do when it’s you against a purveyor of pure evil? You think it’s just a dream? Think again. These nightmare creatures have transcended the pages of the books they were written into, they’ve ripped their way from the silver screen, and now they are coming for you. There is nowhere to hide - they will find you. But the question remains. Do you have what it takes to conquer the beast or will you let it destroy you?
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If I Die Before I Wake: Tales of Nightmare Creatures
- The Better Off Dead Series, Book 4
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Series: The Better Off Dead Series, Book 4
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Release date: 01-06-21
- Language: English
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Regular price: £18.99 or 1 Credit
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The Never Dead
- By: Dan Henk, Jeff Strand, Tim Curran, and others
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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As Rod Sterling famously said, "You unlock this door with the key to your imagination". Sixteen tales of horror and woe are ensconced here.
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The Never Dead
- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Release date: 24-07-23
- Language: English
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