Showing results by narrator "David Dear" in All Categories

A wild and wacky parody of the original Hellraiser movie. Now with more raisins!

There are incidents and emergencies in the world that defy logical explanation, events that could be defined as supernatural, extraterrestrial, or simply otherworldly. Standard laws do not allow for such instances, nor are most officials or authorities trained to handle them. In recognition of these facts, one organization has been created that can. Assembled by a loose international coalition, their mission is to deal with these situations using diplomacy, guile, force, and strategy as necessary.

A mother’s secret. A son’s destiny. Can humanity be delivered from certain extinction? Cosette Sinclair, pregnant with an illegal second child, makes a discovery that will change the course of humanity. While on assignment to find a habitable planet for mankind’s first colony, she witnesses a tear in space - a gateway for a devastating alien invasion. Now, she’s faced with the heart-wrenching choice between saving her unborn child and saving the world.

Witness powerful stories about the effects and realities of living in a prejudiced society in this audio bundle of classic Black narratives. These selections are both fictional and nonfictional stories of living in a society that devalues and dehumanizes the lives of Black people. Though all four of these books were written more than a hundred years ago, the realities within are still important for modern audiences to understand.

Magic has been franchised. Magical conveniences are sold everywhere like designer coffee. Everyday life is filled with technical and magical wonders. Only, the magic is murdering people. Thoth Corp's hot new spell is turning people into ravening monsters. Their only hope to quietly rectify the situation before the epidemic spreads is the spell architect they framed and sent to prison. El's response to his former partners wasn't polite. Homeless, forbidden to use government-regulated magic, and barely surviving out of dumpsters, Eli struggles to rebuild his life.

Two weeks of freedom hasn’t been enough for Eli to rebuild his life. While he races to prepare for looming winter, a killer’s crusade to exterminate Seufert Fells’s homeless drives a knife into the city’s criminal elite. Forced to hunt a killer disguised by magic, Eli’s world becomes a house of mirrors. Friends become enemies. Deceptions abound, and the magic that saved Eli threatens to consume him. With the serial killer targeting everything he loves, even new dumpstermancer spells might not be enough.

When I was four years old, my inept biological parents decided they wanted to summon a demon. They planned to summon one and control him so they could gain riches. However, they didn't realize you can't control a demon, you can only enter into an agreement with them, and so their demon was able to walk out of the summoning circle that they didn't close properly.

Jimmy DiFrenzo is the head of one of the Figarazzi family, one of the toughest mob families around. He loves his gabagool, his gold chains, and his chest hair. He lives in a nice suburban home with his adoring wife and child. The perfect, yet hackneyed, life of a Sicilian American. But he has secrets. Blondie is a spoiled little rich girl who always gets her way. When her life becomes tedious, she begins a life of breaking into random homes. She never steals anything; she's in it for the excitement. All is going swimmingly, till she finds herself the wrong house.

The junkie. The goth girl. The redneck. The nerd. The gangsta. The gay kid. The jock. The twins who can't even tell themselves apart. A loveable cast of walking clichés, out for a week in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. What could possibly happen? Murder, that's what! Who left that dead girl skewered on the porch, anyway? All are suspect, as the slayings become more and more ridiculous. Hell of a way to spend a vacation. Will they find out who the killer is in time to stop this madness, or will this mean the end for all?

Six months after a devastating infection collapses society as they knew it, Atlas and Moose barely survive an attack on the base they had been living in. Stranded and alone, with Atlas battling the deadly infection, a sketchy radio transmission speaks of a safe zone somewhere in Pennsylvania. Atlas makes it his mission to get Moose there safely. What begins as a hunt for safety and freedom, turns into a deadly race against time, as they soon learn that the world has been hiding something far more sinister than the cannibalizing disease that is swiftly eradicating mankind.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Hell - the Raisining!

It is in this environment that The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man is written. In this novel, the narrator describes his life as a Black child and young adult, working his way through the various social classes. He becomes a musician and travels the world as a free Black man for much of his life, but eventually makes the decision to live as a White man after witnessing a horrific lynching. The rest of his life is spent keeping a piece of himself hidden from everyone in an attempt at safety.

Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of a... Well, you all know the story. Jack is a poor farm boy living with his mother. Having to milk cows to keep the bill collectors at bay. Till, one day, a man comes by and gives him an enhancement pill that makes him sprout a giant boner, which he climbs all the way up to Giant Land. I mean, sure, we all know that part. But from there, things take a twist.

Franks Wurst: The food of the future! Try one today! Many years have passed since Victor Frankenstein built his monster. The population has grown out of control. The food supply is getting low. Franks franchises are popping up like weeds. With only one thing on the menu, hot dogs. The low-cost way to feed billions. And people love them. But when meat becomes scarce, a new item appears on the menu: Franks Wurst. It's not long before that’s all anyone eats. Listen to find out more.

Ever wanted to be in a story? Our hero has. And now here he is. And it sucks. How did he get here? What did he do to deserve this? Why are these tales so much worse than the originals?

Long ago, in a land far away, there lived a beautiful princess named Snow White. Okay, it wasn’t long ago, it was just a few minutes ago. And it wasn’t far away, it was the Bad Apple Miniature Golf Course/Action Fun Park in New Jersey. Come join your favorite characters: Snow White, the Queen, the Pepperoni Prince, and of course, the dwarves - Farty, Disorderly, Complimentary, Turkey, Sleazy, Juicy, and Smug.

Blood Republic is a political-thriller for a divided modern America. Corrupt politicians, biased media, NSA surveillance, and viral hate; Blood Republic examines extremism through a heart-pumping thriller with the fate of the country at stake. Will America survive its next election or collapse into a second civil war of conservative versus liberal?

Adam is the first human being all alone in the Garden of Eden. He has everything he needs, but he sure is lonely. One morning he awakens to find his body flayed open. Could it be kidney thieves? No, God has stolen a rib to make him a companion. Why he couldn't have just made Eve out of dirt like Adam was, is beyond him. Adam and Eve are living in relative peace in Paradise until trouble comes to the Garden in the form of a snake.

Ronnie Jones is an ambitious teenage boy about to ask his Helen to marry him, till an accident cuts his life short. Like that annoying joker someone forgot to take out of that deck of cards before shuffling, his soul ends up where it doesn't belong; miles away. When he reawakens as Freddy, his spirit is on a mission. He must find the girl that has his heart. The good news: He finds her again! The bad news: It's 30 years later, and she's a baby. Seriously. He can't catch a break.

Mystical. Weird. Hilarious. It's a tale of idiots. It's a tale of life. A dumb cast of characters you have to see to believe. The surgeon on an acid trip. The lazy Uncle who fuses with his favorite chair. The boy who comes back from the dead for revenge. Bootsy Collins. What do these people have in common? About as much as you have with Kevin Bacon.