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Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

Whatever life throws at you, learn to deal with it in a healthier and more rational way.

When it comes to destructive emotions and unhelpful behaviours, you are your own worst enemy. Rather than people or situations driving you to depression, distraction or doughnuts, all too often it’s your own unhealthy beliefs and thought habits that hold you back and f--k everything up. But, what can you do about it? 

Highly experienced REBT (rational emotive behaviour therapy) psychotherapist Daniel Fryer can stop these thoughts from messing up your life using a simple but effective model. 

In The Four Thoughts that F**k You UpAnd How to Fix Them he reveals the four unhealthy beliefs that hold you back (Dogmatic Demands, Dramas, I Can’t Copes and Pejorative Put-Downs) and shows you how to replace them with four healthy beliefs (Flexible Preferences, Perspectives, I Can Copes and Unconditional Acceptance) - in as little as six weeks. Yes, you read that right: just six weeks to a new you.

Developed in the mid-'50s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis, REBT is known as the first form of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). Not only is it an effective therapy, but it’s also an excellent philosophy for everyday life. With this model, Daniel will help you identify a specific personal challenge and then reframe how you react to it, leading to a calmer, happier you. This approach is especially helpful if you struggle with stress, anxiety, depression, anger or self-doubt, or if you want to improve your relationships with family, colleagues and peers or, simply, yourself.

When you free your mind from the thoughts that f--k you up, you’ll never look at anything the same way again. Want to get started?

©2019 Daniel Fryer (P)2019 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about The Four Thoughts That F*ck You Up ... and How to Fix Them

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I cannot recommend this book highly enough

Thoroughly enjoyed both as an integrative counsellor and a human being with a brain which has had a tendency to depression and anxiety. Enjoyed the audio version so much that I also bought the paperback / it will enhance my use of CBT (and REBT) with clients. Although I think the paper copy loses something as the narrator is marvellous. There was nothing new here for me but it’s all about the presentation and accessibility. Personally, I rarely swear (or give reviews) but it was fitting here as was the humour. (Also check out Dan’s paper on humour in psychotherapy).

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Incredibly informative in a concise and easy to understand format as well as being really well narrated

I hadn’t heard of Daniel before but the book summary looked good so I gave it a go. It is incredible how well Daniel sums up the underlying issues that affect most of humanity to varying degrees. His explanation of the four main distorted thought patterns are really easy to see in yourself and others. He clearly takes you through the process of understanding yourself clearly and how to make changes for the better. His teachings are grounded in REBT and are very much aimed at giving individuals the tools to obtain understanding and personal development. I found this book really down to earth and the narration is excellent. Probably the best self book I have ever read.

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Good advice—but you know it already

Not bad advice, by any means, but simplistic and somewhat self-evident. I nodded along, but I didn’t pick up anything new I could apply.

Also, having “f**k” in the title is attention-seeking, over-used (and passé).

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  • Anonymous User
  • 26-10-21

Brilliant book

Before coming across this book, I tried to read The Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis, but I found it bit hard to understand, as I was completely new to REBT and so stopped reading it after few chapters. But fortunately, Daniel Fryer has done a brilliant job explaining REBT in easy and simpler language. It is my new favourite book. I plan to relisten to the audio and this time plan to practice the exercises. I also plan to reread "The Guide to Rational Living", as I feel confident after reading "The Four Thoughts That F*ck You Up", that I will be able to understand other books on REBT now.