Showing results by narrator "Carolyn Kashner" in All Categories

On his 13th birthday, foster child Alcatraz Smedry gets a bag of sand in the mail - his only inheritance from his father and mother. He soon learns that this is no ordinary bag of sand. It is quickly stolen by the cult of evil Librarians who are taking over the world by spreading misinformation and suppressing truth. Alcatraz must stop them, using the only weapon he has: an incredible talent for breaking things.

Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night, Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world.

Cal Carver's time is about to run out. He and his Space Team are broke. Forced to take low-paying gun-for-hire jobs just to keep the food replicator working, their prospects are not looking good. When they pick up a distress signal from a luxury space cruiser, they think their luck might be about to change. And it does. Sadly, not in the way they'd hoped.

With a thriving parahuman accounting practice, a steady relationship, and a circle of trusted friends, Fred’s undead life has become more enjoyable than his normal one ever was. Unfortunately, it also seems that he’s no longer the only vampire to appreciate the up-and-coming city of Winslow, Colorado. A new clan of vampires is moving in, and they aren’t well known for tolerating outsiders in their territory.

The galaxy just called for help. Unfortunately, the wrong man answered. When small-time con man Cal Carver is thrown in jail and forced to share a cell with a semi-naked, cannibalistic serial killer, he's pretty sure his day can't get any worse. Boy, is he wrong. It isn't until two-thirds of the human race is wiped out and Cal is mistakenly abducted by aliens that things really start to go downhill.

Since time immemorial, humans have worshipped the gods they call Fhrey, truly a race apart: invincible in battle, masters of magic, and seemingly immortal. But when a god falls to a human blade, the balance of power between humans and those they thought were gods changes forever. Now only a few stand between humankind and annihilation: Raithe, reluctant to embrace his destiny as the God Killer; Suri, a young seer burdened by signs of impending doom; and Persephone, who must overcome personal tragedy to lead her people. The Age of Myth is over. The time of rebellion has begun.

Geronimus Krone, the most dangerous man in existence has altered the course of time, appointed himself King of Space, and now rules the galaxy with the help of his four monstrous generals and their armies. Cal Carver and his crew are the galaxy's only hope. But, reeling from their recent loss, they can't stop Krone on their own. Fortunately, they've got a whole bunch of friends they can call on for help.

Just hours after setting foot on a new planet, Cal and the crew find themselves caught up in an interplanetary kidnapping plot. Reuniting the suspiciously-silent young victim with her parents on their far-off home world will make Cal rich beyond his wildest dreams. Unfortunately, half the pirates and bounty hunters in the galaxy have the same idea, and they're more than happy to take the girl by force.

As a Knight of Crystallia, I, Bastille, swore to protect the Smedry clan from the Evil Librarians. (And believe me, screwups like them constantly need protecting.) But when Alcatraz Smedry got strapped to an altar of outdated encyclopedias to be sacrificed to the dark gods, I arrived too late—and instead his father took his place. Now Alcatraz is a blubbering mess, so it’s up to me lead the charge against his father’s killer: Biblioden, founder of the Evil Librarians—I was sure he died centuries ago—who’s back to complete his goal of world domination.

After surviving countless perils and dangers, including an examination by the Blood Council, Fred is preparing to take on his most important adventure to date: marrying Krystal. That is, if he can get everything handled in time. Visiting Boarback, hiring new staff, clearing out his schedule for a honeymoon; there’s no shortage of tasks to check off before the big day arrives. But not everyone views the occasion in such a happy light. With new dangers looming, old debts raised, and grudges rekindled, it’ll take everything Fred has to finally make it down the aisle.

Ishmael Jones and his partner Penny have been summoned to remote Cardavan House, home of the world’s largest private collection of Ancient Egyptian artifacts, for the unveiling of George Cardavan’s latest acquisition: a bone fide Egyptian mummy. When a bloodstained body is discovered beside the empty sarcophagus, Ishmael is dismissive of the theory that the mummy’s curse is to blame.

Cal Carver, petty-criminal turned space adventurer, is on a suicide mission - and he really hates suicide missions. But this time it's to save his best buddy, Splurt, who has been taken prisoner by the elderly assassin, Lady Vajazzle, and the evil Zertex corporation. When they discover that the ship carrying Splurt never made it to Zertex, their search leads them through a wormhole to a mysterious planet unlike any they have seen before.

Accidental space adventurer Cal Carver has had a rough few months. He's fought spider-dragons, battled space clowns, and been repeatedly tortured by the galaxy's oldest assassin. And don't even get him started on the squirrel-tits. Now all that's behind him, Cal just wants to kick back and relax. The universe, however, has other ideas. He and his crew find themselves in possession of the Symmorium Sentience, a once god-like entity now stripped of its power.

When a 'Weird Space Thing™' threatens to destroy planet Earth, Cal is determined to stop it. But when they get there, they find the place is still swarming with parasitic extra-terrestrial bugs, and that there isn't a whole lot left to save.

The Homelander enacts his plan only to realize his motivations are unfounded. Butcher confronts him and makes the one who raped his wife and caused her death pay with his life. Butcher’s true desire for destruction is then revealed in the form of a WMD crafted for supes but will kill many others, and to be stopped, Hughie must face Butcher alone. As the dust settles the long-lasting damage and betrayals are still affecting the survivors.

Having journeyed through time in order to restore peace to the galaxy, Cal Carver and Space Team are a little dismayed to find out they may have inadvertently made things even worse.

With his wedding behind him, Fred is looking forward to nightly life finally settling down. Unfortunately, someone from his past has other, far less peaceful, plans in mind. Finding his clan under attack, Fred must scramble to discover who is working against him and how to fight back. Between securing shelter, trading favors, and keeping up with his accounting business, it won’t be easy to stay out of trouble; let alone uncover the identity of his adversary.

It has a dark past—one in which a number of humans were killed. A past that caused it to christen itself “Murderbot”. But it has only vague memories of the massacre that spawned that title, and it wants to know more. Teaming up with a Research Transport vessel named ART (you don’t want to know what the “A” stands for), Murderbot heads to the mining facility where it went rogue. What it discovers will forever change the way it thinks.

In his second skirmish against the Evil Librarians who rule the world, Alcatraz and his ragtag crew of freedom fighters track Grandpa Smedry to the ancient and mysterious Library of Alexandria. Hushlanders - people who live in the Librarian-controlled lands of Canada, Europe, and the Americas - believe the Library was destroyed long ago. Free Kingdomers know the truth: the Library of Alexandria is still around, and it’s one of the most dangerous places on the planet. For it is the home of the scariest Librarians of them all: a secret sect of soul-stealing Scriveners.

While trying to stop a cyber-attacker stealing all Space Team's hard-earned money, the cyborg, Mech, unlocks a secret partition in his hard drive, revealing a mysterious set of co-ordinates. The co-ordinates lead the team to Funworld, a planet-sized theme park with a worrying number of artificially intelligent clownbots, and a shocking disregard for Health & Safety.