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  • Out of the Fog

  • Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
  • By: Dana Morningstar
  • Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
  • Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (74 ratings)
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Out of the Fog cover art

Out of the Fog

By: Dana Morningstar
Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
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Summary

The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others. 

However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.

The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated, they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazy-making, people-pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice - especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support-group members, or a therapist.

Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?", "No one is perfect", "You need to forgive them", "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know", and "Commitment is forever".

This audiobook dives into these and other commonly confused topics such as:

  • "Who are you to judge" vs. being discerning
  • "You need to forgive them" vs. keeping yourself safe
  • A parent vs. a predator
  • Commitment vs. codependency
  • Self-love vs. selfishness
  • A person acting the part vs. a person actually changing
  • Gut instincts vs. hypervigilance
  • A friend vs. someone being friendly
  • Caring vs. caretaking
©2017 Dana Morningstar (P)2019 Dana Morningstar

What listeners say about Out of the Fog

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Highly recommend

Great book for those who tend to end up in dysfunctional relationships, need to know why this pattern keeps repeating, and what one can do about changing things.

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Good read

I like this book very much informative with true life experiences its an eye open to how other people minds work and how us empaths learn how to cope.

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An affirmation

Loved it. I've listened to it again and again. So much is completely relatable. A revelation and education.

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Inspiring

Inspiring and informative listen. Brought a lot of clarity, understanding and peace. Thank you, Dana.

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I really think this is the best book I have read on Narcest behaviour to date

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fantastic

Great book. I am going to read again and share with others. Lots of useful information inside for anyone who has come across abusive relationships.

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Best therapy!

I would recommend this book to anyone who has suffered emotional abuse on any level. This book has confirmed what I always knew deep down. This has empowered me to move on knowing that the behaviour I have suffered is not acceptable. I have gone back many times but never again - not after reading this. This time I’m strong and armed with the reality and won’t fall for the hoovering and love bombing ever again. Thank you to the author but also my sister who encouraged me to listen.

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Excellent read highly recommend

Loved this book. As a therapist working in domestic violence it gave me a greater insight into the world of abuse and narcissism one that I hadn't had before from theory alone.

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Best one yet

Loved the narrator. By far the best book on this subject that I have read/listened to. Definitely recommend

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A life-changing read

Thank you so much, Dana, for this book. It’s been a touchstone for me during a very dark two-year period of coming to terms with and waking up to the abusive relationships of my past (too many), and navigating my way out of them. I’m now left with a blank canvas of no close friends and no job, but it’s preferable to living with one-sided relationships and people who violate my professional boundaries. Who knows - I could now crash and burn completely, or continue to honour myself and grow...

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