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Summary

Good communiation is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it's between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers. In this book Susan Chapman, a marriage and family therapist and a longtime meditation teacher, explains how mindfulness can be brought to bear in the way we speak and listen to each other so that we can strengthen our connections and better accomplish our goals. Drawing on Buddhist principles and on her training as a psychotherapist, Chapman explains how the practice of mindfulness - learning to become fully present in the moment - makes it possible for us to listen more deeply to others and to develop greater clarity and confidence about how to respond.

Chapman highlights five key elements of mindful communication: silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding, and she dedicates a chapter of the book to each. Other topics include identifying your communication patterns and habits; uncovering the hidden fears that often sabotage communication; staying open in the midst of difficult conversations so that we can respond wisely and skillfully; and learning how mindful communication can help us to become more truthful, compassionate, and flexible in our relationships.

©2012 Susan Gillis Chapman (P)2014 Audible Inc.

What listeners say about The Five Keys to Mindful Communication

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Excellent insight into a complex field

Content is insightful incisive and potentially life changing. I needed to listen repeatedly as I am not a psychologist but found it very enlightening. The narrator is too fast though. A slower pace with appropriate pauses would be valuable.

6 people found this helpful

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Eye opening!

I have always struggled with communication, and this book has not only helped with communication skills, it's given so many good examples which has given me a lot of "a'ha" moments. Would absolutely recommend this book to anyone and everyone. The narrator was soothing, clear and engaging at all times. Will definitely be revisited if I struggle at anytime or just to revise the tools given.

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Book to read

Brilliant book, helpful to understand communication, relationships and energy. Well read and insightful for everyone good points made

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Excellent!

100% recommend to anyone who wants to be a mindful communicator (included in the membership)

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easy way of realising a few important things

the author presents a very insightful and constructive guideline to communication
the book made me think about how we need to sometimes put relationships above ourselves. that's basically the main message put in a way, that you realize it's importance and do not feel hurt about it

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Much needed

If more people read this book, lots of our social problems would cease to exist. It gives great insights into communication types and how to tackle them within yourself and understand them in other people

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practical guide

useful reference background to everyday communication issues on what said and what is heard

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Loved It

Came across by mistake and thankful I did. A book for anyone interested in mindfulness or anger control

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Repeating

I found this entire book to have little substance. Repeating information over and over.
I don’t feel I learnt anything. Disappointing

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Wonderful

I loved this book - beautifully read and beautifully written. I learnt so much from this wise and heartfull book.

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  • LCNanny
  • 22-12-15

Delivers on message, in a Clear and Meaningful Way

Would you listen to The Five Keys to Mindful Communication again? Why?

Yes. the message and information is timeless. I've studied Buddhism, and thought there would be more emphasis in that arena, but not so. It's more Imago Therapy principles, and the mindfulness aspect is about becoming more aware (through exercises and observation) of how we communicate and react. I've listened, read and studied messages on wholeness for years, and this book is hopeful, inspiring and actionable. It's not a book you read or listen to and walk away asking now what. There are exercises that are simple, relatable and provide results (like stopping for 3 seconds, every couple hours to be silent) I was amazed at how this exercise affected me.

The red, yellow, green light concept (the colors represent a mental or communication state, with red being hostile or shut-down, ect) is a bit of an issue. It's not hard to grasp what the intent is in using this analogy, but how are we as non-therapists, suppose to be able to identify and alter our behavior successfully using this technique? I think in professional therapy it would work, but in a self-help setting; not so much.

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

She at times sounded condescending, and high pitched. Definitely needs to re-think that young child voice (pain for the ears!)

Any additional comments?

Overall, I highly recommend this book because the information is accessible, not too intense, and overall so helpful in helping people take responsibility for their experience, thus living in their power (not as a victim, rescuer, or persecutor)

25 people found this helpful

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  • Carolina Walter
  • 26-03-16

A book about empathy

It focuses on the empathy and loosing the concept ( like in the movies) of villains and heroes. But I felt that it relies on the hope that not only you'll put yourself in the other person's shoes but that the other person will do the same, in reality this doesn't happens all the time, you cant control that and sometimes people do bad things or behave like assholes, and you just cant make them turn green again.
You have to listen to it several times to really get it in.

8 people found this helpful

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  • camille
  • 15-10-15

Review

I needed to understand how to allow myself to connect I have issues of abandonment and alcoholism in my family. I do not allow people close even when they should be. I'm only half way through the audiobook , and I recommend it highly for communicating and connecting with others .
It's very easy to listen to also . Thanks!!!

42 people found this helpful

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  • Randolph
  • 02-04-15

Caution: Textbook Madness!

I would recommend this book in another format. Too much information to absorb without some reflection. Imagine a bumpy road. Easier to pass over slowly for a smoother ride.

51 people found this helpful

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  • Ivan Lapalme
  • 18-10-15

Great self help material, worth your time :-)

I was always having difficulties with conflicts, especially in my love life. So I've began to put to practise the 3 lights technique with my sweetheart and we have moved past so many layers off past trauma just by understanding, compassion and mindfulness., using the 3 lights technique for a start.

26 people found this helpful

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  • dave dollé
  • 27-04-17

Emotional

Great day to day real life comparisons and eye openers. Wish I had this insight earlier in life.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Barbara
  • 03-03-17

Wow

I think this just saved my relationship. This was perfect for me! I know a lot of it was beyond my ability to apply it to my life right now but I will re listen to it starting immediately 😄. I've already noticed a huge difference in me when conflict arises! Amazing! I'm so grateful for this book! Thank you!

5 people found this helpful

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  • Andrew Betancourt
  • 10-12-20

Not what I was expecting

I’m practice mindfulness and meditation, but I wasn’t looking for that here. Though, I suppose I should have known given the title. I wanted practical strategies for communication. I got one good take a way, but was it was a bit too fluffy.

4 people found this helpful

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  • SR0930
  • 30-12-16

Highly recommend even if you feel you don't need it.

I highly recommend this book even if you feel you don't need coaching on communication. This book puts communication in perspective with many examples and tips. I wish every person who has ever written a nasty attacking comment on a blog or Facebook post would read this book! Or better I wish every person who has ever experienced a nasty comment or response online could read this book - you'll have a new perspective on the writer of those comments. Enjoy!!

4 people found this helpful

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  • Shaun
  • 30-09-15

Insightful and poignant

I enjoyed it very much. The Author's experience is rich and meaningful and it is clearly illustrated with relatable examples and stories. The insight provided herein is extremely valuable to anyone, especially if you struggle with communication in general.

16 people found this helpful