Listen free for 30 days

Listen with a free trial

One credit a month, good for any title to download and keep.
Unlimited listening to the Plus Catalogue - thousands of select Audible Originals, podcasts and audiobooks.
Exclusive member-only deals.
No commitment - cancel anytime.
Buy Now for £36.69

Buy Now for £36.69

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Summary

Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series.

Attempted Vampirism, book one

It’s not easy being a vampire - just ask Jonathan. As the 32nd lord of Bloodhaven, Jonathan is a vampire noble. Alas, he’s a noble in name only. Forget gold, diamonds, and bountiful estates. All he has to his name are one cozy - some would say dilapidated - castle and a reputation as a fine scholar specializing in ancient lore. Of course, given the horrible ends both his father and grandfather met in pursuit of fame and fortune, it’s probably for the best that he enjoys the quiet life. Sadly, his quiet life is about to meet a horrible end of its own.

Think tax collectors are bad? How about...vampire tax collectors? After a run-in with the Blood Alliance Department of Taxation leaves Jonathan with nothing, he needs a lot of money, and he needs it now. But at least he can rely on his faithful servants for help, right? Wrong. The only servant he’s got left is his old but faithful butler, Miles. To get his castle and his stuff back, Jonathan and Miles have to take some risks, but the gods aren’t going to make it easy for them. After all, these are the same gods who took at least three tries to get the world mostly right, and they have some wonderful surprises up their sleeve.

Attempted Adventuring, book two

A vampire noble’s work is never done - just ask Jonathan. With the help of his faithful servant Miles, their first mission was rather more dangerous than he’d like.

Of course, one mission won’t be enough, and there’s nothing scarier than vampire tax collectors.

If Jonathan wants to get his castle back, he’ll have to go on more missions. Tougher missions. Scarier missions. Missions that make him question the sanity of dwarf architecture. And their newest mission is a doozy. But if he and the others can survive sea monsters, ancient evils, and an unlikely pair of allies, they might just strike it rich. One way or another, Jonathan is getting his castle back.

©2019, 2020 L.G. Estrella (P)2020 Podium Audio

What listeners say about Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    57
  • 4 Stars
    7
  • 3 Stars
    5
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    1
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    47
  • 4 Stars
    8
  • 3 Stars
    5
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    46
  • 4 Stars
    10
  • 3 Stars
    5
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Exciting and new stories totally original

This story flows around a hapless vampire which is in essence bankrupt, the book flows from start to beginning.
The adventures are believable so are the characters I am really looking forward to the next instalment of this book series.
You must excuse my grammar because I am dyslexic and I hate writing anything down but on finishing this story
I had to write a review, I hope you will enjoy this book as much as I have.
Yours sincerely
CJ

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Not at all captivating

Bought this audiobook after listening to the sample - which was great, engaging and funny. However, that was that.
Predictable story- scholar becomes adventurer in no time, then it’s ‘ meet foe, fight, win’ again and again. Amazing that the heroes in the story always have time to discuss their next move and possible outcomes in between attacks.
Jonathan’s voice is great, suitably posh for a vampire lord but though the accents and voices between the other characters change they all sound too similarly posh.
Found myself not really listening and drifting of thinking about other stuff too many times.
Lasted book 1 but 30 min into book too gave up.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

hard going, but not due to boredom

It was difficult to tell what kind of story was attempting to be told, and overall, it came across as a tabletop role-playing game with too many players all trying to be unique with their characters and capabilities.

Throughout, there were a number of threads that were vaguely explored and then ruthlessly cut short, that further editing might have removed altogether. In other instances, ideas clearly came in to being part-way through the writing process and were not then back-tracked in to the story. Again, something that further editing would have helped.

Overall, the author has attempted to stuff as many ideas as possible, in to a story too short to handle them all. Some of the ideas are really VERY good, but would have benefitted from being held back for perhaps later volumes.

This may sound like a negative review, but really it's not intended that way. The ideas, characters and abilities are well worth further exploration, but really need to be less frenetic and given more space to breathe and find their way.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

All's Fair in Adventures and Taxation

I bought this book on a whim and because I had enjoyed other books narrated by Joel Froomkin and the sample sounded fun. I loved both books and can't wait for the series to continue.

If you are looking for high-brow literature then this is not for you, but if you want fun, adventure, mild to moderate peril and the chance to thwart evil then buy today and don't delay!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Humorous d&d campaign

This is light hearted, funny and plays out like a dungeons and dragons campaign. Now all the characters are in place it feels like the rest of the nicely set up story can really get going. I’m definitely going to buy more!

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

disappointed

not a patch on 2 necromancers , not well narrated, dreary. .......word's word's word's

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

light hearted fantasy at its most entertaining

If you enjoy the Wandering Inn series or other comic fantasy which avoids the opera-like tragedy of other fantasy series, you'll love this book. Jonathan the "Joe Normal" of vampire Lords is instantly likeable as the unlikely hero and you are drawn along as he struggles to earn a living as an adventurer. a good, fun escape.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Wonderful

Lg Estrella is one of my favorite writers, this series is just as great as the unconventional heroes series.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

My face aches from all the grinning

I love these books. Witty and endearing with a cast of characters that I feel in love with. Every single one of them regularly had me grinning if not laughing out loud with the fabulous banter.
A lot of fun, light hearted and so well read by Froomkin. Hoping for more to come soon

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A great listen!!

Loved this book, lots of humour.
Eric is ace, can’t wait for the next one!

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for swyrlgirl
  • swyrlgirl
  • 05-01-21

The New Sir Terry Pratchett

Said it, meant it! As a huge Discworld fan, I feel good saying this!! All of Estrella's books are beautiful satire combined with differently-abled themes and characters combing their strengths to succeed by overcoming societal norms in a wrapped in delicious , funny and fun LITRPG adventure without being one. Worth buying!

22 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for rafael h rivera
  • rafael h rivera
  • 26-12-20

It’s like a roller coaster ride

L.G. Estrella has become one of my favorite writers. I have listened to the other books in the other series. Hopefully there will be more books in the series too. the narrator is excellent hopefully Joel Froomkin comes back to this series.

14 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Nutmeg
  • Nutmeg
  • 08-01-21

Action Driven

Confession: I’m here because of Joel Froomkin. His narration is great as always, but I wasn’t sucked into the story. I do usually listen to romance, but I’ve loved other purely adventure books. In this story, I never really felt like I got to know the characters beyond their skills. Other reviews mentioned it felt like gamefic and though I’m unfamiliar with genre, it fits. I never really got into any role playing games, but this reminded me of the ones I tried. Everything seemed to be for the sake of “adventuring” and other motivations were just an excuse. I think listeners who prefer more action oriented books and plots made up of a series of quests will get more out of this than I did.

10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Cori Steinberg
  • Cori Steinberg
  • 23-01-21

Great story. so much fun.

once you get use to the authors writing style these books become amazing. love the story telling and the adventure.

8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Kindle Customer
  • Kindle Customer
  • 01-01-21

absolutely awesome!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book series and I really hope more comes out I highly recommend this series.

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Marcus Norton
  • Marcus Norton
  • 07-08-21

I read the series on Kindle...

I tried to listen to the series on Audible but just really, really, didn't enjoy the audiobook reader. It seems as thought it was going for some 18th century reader at some Palace or something. Very disappointed.

Like I mentioned in the title I have read this series on Kindle but the narration was so unenjoyable I gave up and returned the audiobook.

The reason I even came upon this series in the first place was because I was looking for another series to listen to after I finished a different vampire series. I wasn't expecting another vampire series to fill the void but it did. I love the series just not the audiobook reader.

If you want a good Vampire series with a good narrator check out Fred the Vampire accountant.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Rebecca702
  • Rebecca702
  • 18-02-21

Very Clever and Funny!

Compelling and interesting characters drive this story with loads of comedy. Author has a fresh take on fantasy! The performance was great. Enjoyed this audio a lot and it kept me very entertained.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for PB
  • PB
  • 30-09-21

Meandering plot with invincible characters

The blurb sounded cool. Nation of vampires with complex government and functional society. Nice!

Wrong. Neither the strengths nor weaknesses of the vampires ever matter. They could be Humans, Elves, or miniature giant space hamsters and the story wouldn't change. They're vampires because the author thought it would be cool for them to be vampires but then they did NOTHING with them.

But that doesn't matter because the vampires are also largely irrelevant. The vampire protagonist is basically the POV character that mostly just follows around a group of impossibly skilled and basically invincible other protagonists while they do things that don't matter. I listened to all of the first book and most of the second today but I honestly don't even remember the point of the first book because it was largely irrelevant.

On top of that, what little plot IS present is repeatedly interrupted by completely irrelevant "interludes" where we get backstory about the protagonists whose only purpose seems to be to make self-referential in-jokes that are largely the author's attempt to replicate Pratchett's style, without any of Pratchett's actual ability to be funny.

If I didn't get this for free as part of amazon's "Plus Catalogue", I'd demand a refund.

The narrator was great and, frankly, is the only reason I made it as far into the book as I did but even an amazing narrator can only carry a boring story so far.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Charles W. Caine
  • Charles W. Caine
  • 07-07-21

There is a reason they have to give you two books

Art and comedy is subjective and this book has neither in it. The best part of the book is the narrator, so if you like Joel Froomkin, go listen to a good book read by this narrator.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for chendria
  • chendria
  • 13-05-21

Not bad

After you get through some of the more boring parts it’s entertaining. The way it’s written it reminds me of playing an mmorpg. The different classes of everyone in the group and adventures they go on reads like a rpg. But overall not a bad purchase for a credit.

2 people found this helpful